November 2008 Archives

November 12, 2008

And Now A Few Words From the Three Tops

vex til you bust
I really couldn't care
vex til you bust
I really couldn't care
if you tell them your mind
they don't like it
and you tell them the truth
they want to take your life
vex til you bust
I really couldn't care
vex til you bust
I really couldn't care
words from your mouth
can't pull me down

[one line missing]
can't take my life
vex til you bust
I really couldn't care
the truth is the truth
and you don't like it

vex til you bust
I really couldn't care
vex til you bust
I really couldn't care
I have a one-track mind
and a one track heart
the truth don't hurt me
for I am the truth
vex til you bust
I really couldn't care
vex til you bust
I really couldn't care
the truth is the truth
and you don't like it
vex til you bust
I really couldn't care

November 14, 2008

Reviewing Everything That Happens To Be Stacked Up Against or Near The Stereo, Installment 1

Inspired by the a recently-acquired issue of the indefatigable Roctober and by the latest-arriving order from Hells Headbangers, I commit myself to providing capsule descriptions of every LP presently leaning either against the LP rack doubles as a stand for the stereo and/or leaning against the wall to the right of said stereo/rack combo. Why? Well, why not?

Blasphemophager, Nuclear Empire of Apocalypse (Nuclear War Now! Productions, 2008): Doesn't really hit a stride until the last song on side one, "Devastating Radioactive Torments" - prior to that it sounds like South American war/beer metal. Which is fine, don't get me wrong. But these guys are from Italy, and Italian metal, like Italian horror cinema, works best when it just puts all the emphasis on atmosphere and lets the plot take care of itself. If you want to talk about the half-full glass, though: when they do hit that sepulchral atmosphere, you can smell fumes coming out of the speakers, and all wine-tasting nonsense questions like "but what of the character of this band?" can be comfortably tabled when the shredding gets as intense as it occasionally does here. I'm not in love with the whole album, but when I say "it's got its moments," I'm not kidding. Comes in a gorgeous gatefold sleeve that recalls Into the Pandemonium except it's matte, not glossy, and I don't remember Tom G. Warrior wearing a gas mask in his inner-sleeve portraits, which he should have, because, you know, gas mask.

November 20, 2008

Reviewing Everything That Happens To Be Stacked Up Against or Near The Stereo, Installment 2

Some catching up to do since I listened to a lot of records while baking cookies this morning. When the weather's cold you gotta immediately start baking cookies. I tried icebox cookies this time - ones where you make the dough and refrigerate it for a period of time. Lemon coconut icebox cookies. They are even better than they sound.

Blodarv, Soulcollector (Northern Silence, 2004): both an LP and a 7" are tucked into the hi-gloss sleeve, but the 7" isn't extras/"bonus tracks" - it's just the songs that wouldn't fit on the LP. The first time I listened to this I couldn't get with it, even though the backstory behind the Blodarv dude (Blodarv being one among the legions of one-man suicidal black metal bands presently dotting the landscape, if by "dotting" we mean "as in a Seurat") is interesting, and predisposes me to something more than my initial reaction ("fantastic, another one-man metal dude with a Tube Screamer, a Metal Zone, and a Fender Deluxe"). I want here to say something about the physical tenacity of LPs: if I hadn't been looking at the album, I might not have played it again for some time, but the sight of it compelled me, so I played it again. Turns out that there's some real texture to this - it's subtle, which is a weird thing to say about an album on which there are exactly zero clean guitar sounds. But the mood this guy's reaching for is his, nobly his. It's pretentious, but hard-won pretentiousness is its own kind of realness once you've learned the secret handshake. The guitars, meanwhile, underneath all that borrowed tone, are played elegantly - there's a real emotion in there, and it's the center of the album. I predict that by this time next week I will be contemplating a self-made Blodarv t-shirt.

Denial of God, The Horrors of Satan (Painkiller Records, 2006; status: in a relationship): a double-LP worthy of the format. Starts out decent enough but doesn't feel like anything special, then gets air on side three and promptly begins executing 720s. The songs get longer, the riffs get bigger, the evil emerges from the crypt. Stuff that the first disc had only hinted at suddenly takes form. I banged my head and felt no pain. The spiritual forefathers of these guys are Glenn Danzig and King Diamond and they've clearly studied their Immortal collection, but they're also kin to several thousand bands that never got out of the garage: there's a rough passion here that'd be hard to sand down.

David Grubbs, An Optimist Notes the Dusk (Drag City, 2008): look, I just love the music David Grubbs makes. So I love this. I agree with everybody who says that the way he tries to make a very dry style of poetry mesh with some pretty picturesque songscapes doesn't always work, and almost never immediately works, but I think a little digging is worth the effort. If a press kit told me to compare a songwriter's work to painting, I'd laugh and throw the whole package into the trash, but with Grubbs, painting is the exact analogy: there's a big-picture broad-canvas feel to what he does, a landscape quality to the finished product. His songs take me places. His guitar style is unique. This record made me feel some things that other records wouldn't know how to try aiming for. And it ended with some drones. More records should end that way. It's nice.

November 27, 2008

Get Out the Vote

OK, people, this is yr uncharacteristic non-music-even-havin'-anything-to-do-with post, but desperate times/desperate measures, etc. Seems Stacie Ponder, one of my favorite writers online (I refuse to say "favorite bloggers") who's also a regular at the AMC blog, got the notion to have a "who's the best final girl?" poll. It's a good question - the Final Girl as an archetype is loaded with all kinds of sociocultural baggage which, in most contexts, can only be discussed in the driest of terms. When horror movies are the springboard, though, the unpacking's actually fun to do; the political content of most horror movies gets to take a backseat to what they tell us about political context, and the basic text gets put through more passes than the Kirov at Christmastime. That's critical reading at its best.

Anyhow, all that's not either here nor there, I hope everybody reads Stacie Ponder 'cause she is the raddest, etc. The point is that Sally Hardesty is not winning the 'favorite final girl' poll. This is unacceptable. I know that saying this probably dooms my chances with Jamie Lee Curtis forever, which completely bums me out because I have been in love with her since I was eleven and not even my decade-long happy marriage has been able to quell the fire that burns in my heart for JLC. (And not just the young JLC, either, you buncha creepy youth-cult people who should go live in Logan's Run World where you belong: she is as hot now as she was thirty years ago, possibly hotter.) But I am a lover of truth and justice, and Sally Hardesty is the permanent queen of all final girls. The sound of her victory, the crazed sound of her survival as the truck that carries her speeds down the Texas highway - the look on her face. If you can't see that Sally Hardesty is every doomed person who ever lived to fight another day, then you aren't looking hard enough, although Tobe Hooper is kind enough to make sure you have nowhere else to look.

You people need to go vote for Sally Hardesty right now. This entry is not here to spark discussion as to why you wanna vote for Ripley, or for rehashing any sub-poisoned-Halloween-candy level urban legends about Jamie Lee. This post is here to make sure you all do your civic duty. The text next to her radio button is a little messed up, but it shouldn't be that hard to figure out. Don't just sit there. Get right with God. Vote Sally.

It's the right thing to do.