don't quote me boy, 'cause i ain't said shit

[elpollodiablo]

It's a poorly incorporated Glengarry Glen Ross reference

Your presence here is poorly incorporated

[Thermofusion]

Have you ever been on a sit? Has this cocksucker ever been on a sit?

[elpollodiablo]

FUCK OR WALK

[Thermofusion]

Ohhhh I'm gonna have your job shithead. I'm gonna go down town, talk to Mitch and Murray. I'm going....to LEMPKIN. I don't care whose nephew you are, whose dick you're suckin' on, you're going down.

[Greg Nog]

What's my name?  Avey Tare, that's my name.

[Thermofusion]

You Panda. You company man.

[coldforge]

These are the new leads. The GlenAnimal Collective leads.

[kyle]

I hunted her down and shot the dart in her. I just had to wait for her to collapse!

Funny, that's how I get girls too.

Yeah, but I usually just radio tag them to track migration.

Same; I especially love it when they migrate south.

[hannah]

We are going to go on a double date with my mother and her very nice seeming new kind-of-boyfriend.

I know what happens...  Your boyfriend's gonna give your mom's fella all sorts of advice about dealing with you two and your mother-daughter quirks while you're fetching ice cream. The men will be amazed and somewhat emasculated by your awesomeness. Your mom will buy her date ice cream in his favorite flavor despite his insistence that he's too full for dessert. You and Jared Padalecki make out on the porch. Gilmore Girls, season 2, episode 2.

[davy]

Ha ha, yessss.

[Ignatius]

Just trying to scratch out my little niche in the WB series-for-teenage-girls fan world. You're not alone, blucas.

[diesel_powered]

my dinner didn't work.

you had a welfare queen for supper?

lazy cow couldn't even pull my plow.

WIN.

[diesel_powered]

ALSO:

I'm just stating facts, not glorifying anything. It is a fact that if you reanimated F. Scott Fitzgerald's corpse right now, he wouldn't do a goddamn thing until he'd had at least half a dozen drinks.

So it looks like I have something in common with F. Scott Fitzgerald's reanimated corpse.

[hannah]

the rock and roll hall of fame is like the retarded cousin of mariah carey, you're always trying to get him to stop playing with himself, but mariah is making you listen to her make that 'aaahh' sound and you're slowly go mad so you start wondering if you're the retarded one and he's trying to make you stop playing with yourself

milly, come hang out with me.

[milly balgeary]

you know, i would, but then i think it's been too long since i've talked to you. we've had other experiences, and grown in ways that we can't describe. you became a lobster lover, saving lobsters from grocery stores. i started a war against electricity, writing diary entries by wintry candlelight. you began eating low carb and all the time you'd be in your chunky peach bathrobe with your adornments hanging out and eating bacon from the bathrobe pockets, pieces of cooked, tangled pork covered in snot rag pieces from your late-night michelob crying fits, and i started my gigantic mural of the fall of lucifer on the floor of my bathroom using strangers' pubic hair that i collected in secret. unfortunately, we can't go back. we cannot follow the footprints back onto the beach, back into the water, into our pasts.

[Thermofusion]

dude hurry up and publish a novel so I can read it six thousand times

[milly balgeary]

man i wish. i hate real jobs.

kid's yoda backpack at office(stern)

(edit -- that pic has my work # -- redacted)

[diesel_powered]

Oh c'mon. It's not like you don't get a bunch of obscene phone calls at work anyway.

[coldforge]

I am intrigued by your viewpoints and wish to subscribe to your newsletter.

I was attempting to do something nice for the environment, but I am intrigued by your manifesto and wish to subscribe to your newsletter.

I should figure out something witty or artsy with them, though. Admittedly I don't have any room in my life for such things these days, but there's got to be something interesting to do.

Maybe I should mirror my ceiling?

I am intrigued by this "fried sperm sandwich" and wish do subscribe to its newsletter.

I'm intrigued by your viewpoints and wish to subscribe to your newsletter.

You should see if they'll let you skip the food and just double up on the brew for like ten bucks less or something.

I am intrigued by your viewpoints and wish to subscribe to your newsletter.

I am intrigued by the above and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter.

I currently have 2/3 of a huge caramel apple pie I bought at the store in my apartment. I was supposed to have a bunch of people over last night, but only one came and now I have a short shit ton of pie. And normally I'm not much for store-bought pie, but this one turned out to be really good.

I'm in a race with it to eat it before it goes bad, but I'm pretty sure I'll gain 5 pounds from it.

I AM INTRIGUED BY YOUR VIEWPOINTS AND WISH TO SUBSCRIBE TO YOUR NEWSLETTER.

I'm intrigued by your viewpoints and wish to subscribe to your newsletter.

And on topic, re: reubens -- damn I want one.  And I want it to have tumbleweeds of sauerkraut.  Sandwich-makers should just hollow out the top roll and fill it with a deliciously stinky cache of fermented cabbage. mmmmmmm

blast from the past here, but I remember reading this originally and thinking "stinky fermented cabbage? kim chi on a reuben?  interesting...."

but you meant sauerkraut.

but still.  kim chi on a reuben.  hmmmmmmm

I'm intrigued by your viewpoints and wish to subscribe to your newsletter.

I'm intrigued by your viewpoints and wish to subscribe to your newsletter.

I'm intrigued by your viewpoints and wish to subscribe to your newsletter.

Dear Blake,

Can we hold hands and sing "We Are The World"?

Intrigued by your viewpoints and wish to subscribe to your newsletter,

M

I'm intrigued by your viewpoints and wish to subscribe to your newsletter.

I'm intrigued by your viewpoints and wish to subscribe to your newsletter.

You know, that is kind of a concern for me, but I haven't the foggiest idea how to deal with it. I guess I just have to get more famous than all the others and then sue them.

Well, that's one possibility. Another one would be to spend the next few years tracking and killing them all. Then you could get rich by selling all their stuff on eBay.

I find your viewpoints intriguing and wish to subscribe to your newsletter!

I find your viewpoints intriguing and wish to subscribe to your newsletter...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aQm7YpxgOnA

Well that I know. I was talking about the whiskey.

I find your viewpoints intriguing and wish to subscribe to your newsletter.

I find your viewpoints intriguing and wish to subscribe to your newsletter.

I find your viewpoints intriguing and wish to subscribe to your newsletter.

I am intrigued by your viewpoints and wish to subscribe to your newsletter.

[The_Tourist]

hail coldfjord

[Andrew_TSKS]

What are we hailing, his prowess at being a dick?

[The_Tourist]

yes.

and his copy/paste stamina.

[diesel_powered]

I'm surprised he had the time to hunt all those down between remapping his keyboard and correcting people's spelling. The man's an inspiration to us all.

[Thermofusion]

I am coldforge and I know how to use Google

[diesel_powered]

He's certainly a crafty one.