It's furniture-throwing time: New Angroyed thread

[G.C.R]

Not so angroyed today, as I have learned a lesson. The lesson is: you hate film shoots. DON'T OFFER TO HELP OUT ON THEM. Man, I hated pretty much every second of yesterday.

[RavingLunatic]

Man, I've been really trying hard to read and study as much as possible, but I constantly keep getting frustrated by the my chronic physical/mental (those two aspects are really inseparable with me) health problems. As a result of my severe digestive problems and my addiction to prescription pain pills (not quite what it sounds like actually), I'm rendered practically bipolar. It's impossible for me to keep the levels of tramadol (that's the pill) steady, and as a result, I'm constantly becoming extremely tired and sleepy and unable to concentrate. In the course of a single day, I'll go from feeling great and energetic to feeling tired and awful several times. I've been trying to deal with it for over a year without success. It completely dominates my life, and it seems like there's nothing I can do about it.

EDIT: Maybe I should've put this in the medical thread though. I may yet move it.

[diesel_powered]

Not so angroyed today, as I have learned a lesson. The lesson is: you hate film shoots. DON'T OFFER TO HELP OUT ON THEM. Man, I hated pretty much every second of yesterday.

In similar angroyed news, why is it that the closer you get to the deadline and the less money you have to throw at a problem, the more likely everything is to go completely to shit?

Related: AVCHD IS THE WORST PIECE OF FUCKING SHIT TO EVER RUN AFOUL OF A PROFESSIONAL VIDEO WORKFLOW AND ANYONE WHO TELLS YOU OTHERWISE IS EITHER LYING OR A FUCKING MORON.

[Anne the Man]

Hey, welcome back Ryan!

OT: I am generally a grumpy person, but usually only that; I get annoyed but not angry. So I have come to post about anger this time. I am angry in a wiped-out way at the people I know. I love most of them, and they're great people, but they just can't be bothered. Two of them are becoming insulated as a couple, one is in Auckland and not really talking to me, one is retreating socially from everyone, one has been gone awhile which wouldn't annoy me if other people weren't gone. So I've finally decided FUCK YOU, if you want to be friends with me why don't you fucking bring some stuff to the relationship. One half of the couple I don't know what the fuck she thinks she brings to OUR relationship; I would consider ditching her, but her boyfriend is awesome and I want to keep that friendship alive. Example:

Me: (after discussion--mostly with her boy, while K stands around being tired and looking blah--about 30 Rock and how rad it is) Omg you guys should watch Season 2. I can loan it to you if you like, shall I drop it around to yours tomorrow, K? (Her house is literally 2 mins away)

K: (weirded-out, possibly annoyed tone) Um...if you want?

Me (in head): OH SO SORRY FOR FUCKING OFFERING YOU STUFF, HOW COULD I DO SUCH A WEIRD TERRIBLE THING

Why I am angry is because I am so so tired. I'm tired of trying to do stuff for people and having it ignored or thrown back in my face. I'm exhausted of trying to jolly people along; sometimes when they obviously need it, not just me deciding they do. Thing is, I decided I cbf, but I don't want to give up people, I just want them to demonstrably love me. The worst is that all I can do is walk away, and the passive-aggressive waiting around drives me up a fucking wall. Thank fuck I have one friend who is pro-active and enthused and shit (two really, both of whom are also rather disgusted at people's total inertia lately). When did everyone all turn 40 (not ageistising any of you), I don't know. It's just it takes me so long to find people I really really like and when they cbf it's the most ridiculous, irritating thing.

Rant rant mcrant. I guess give me advice? I'm in a pit of tired tired rage. And am sort of lonely, but w/e. My group of friends is in diaspora. Thank god also for my choir, even if I don't yet LOVE any of them like I do my main friends.

[RavingLunatic]

Dang, sorry to hear about all the people problems, Anne. I don't generally have problems like that because I just tend to stay away from people. Maybe that's a problem in and of itself, but I'm not really certain. My problems are more of a chemical nature. If I ever solve those problems, then I suppose people problems might crop up, but right now it looks like I'll never advance to that stage.

Right now, for instance, I'm so physically exhausted I can barely walk. I'm so mentally exhausted that I can't read much of anything or even listen to music. There's really nothing I can do but sit and be miserable and wonder whether the pathetic state I'm in is due to too much tramadol or not enough tramadol. It's impossible to tell. The last few days it's generally been from too little but I've taken quite a bit in the last day or so, and my heart rate is normal, so I'm leaning towards too much. (My heart rate goes up when my tramadol levels get low.)

It's kind of a long story, but one night several weeks ago, for the first time in my life, I actually thought I might've been dying. My parents actually called an ambulance, though by the time it got to our house I was a lot better. I'm not entirely sure, but I think the whole incident was from taking too much tramadol (along with some tylenol) on an empty stomach. So I gotta be careful about that now too.

[jess]

That sucks. And yeah, taking too much of any opioid or really any depressant can make you feel like you are dying (it can also potentially actually kill you), and if you took in on an empty stomach when you usually don't, it might hit you a lot faster than you are used to experiencing. I remember when i was taking a drug that had strong sedating side effects, I thought that I was having trouble breathing once/that my heart was fucking up because the extent to which my heart rate was slowed was simply extremely disconcerting and uncomfortable. I basically had a panic attack over it before later realizing it was just the side effects of the drug (which I eventually discontinued because it was so sedating). Are you in consultation with a doctor about your doses and whatnot? Regular opioid use would be an intense thing to manage without professional help.

[diesel_powered]

Okay, are there some fucking sunspots going on or something? Because for some fucking reason, every single piece of fucking technology in the goddamn fucking house is in deep shit, function-wise.

[diesel_powered]

Yeah, for some reason, I'm still cursed to be fucking shit on technologically today. I fucked around, I jerked off on the fucking internet for a goddamn fucking week to perfect, textbook fucking performance, and the second I have some sense of urgency and I'm fucking tired of watching progress bars for the past 15 fucking hours, nothing fucking works. I dig around in the fucking rat's nest of cables on my piece of shit desk to plug in a network cable so I don't have to worry about losing my fucking wireless in the middle of delivering my files, and I knock out the cable to the drive with my files to upload on it, rendering it unmountable and requiring a disk repair. Right now, I could go into a whole diatribe about how iMovie and fucking shit Flipcams have made everyone assume that professional video production is as simple as pressing a fucking button, and how pissed off I am that I've sunk so much fucking time and money into building a studio that, even though it's the best I can fucking afford, is ghetto as fuck, but I've been watching fucking progress bars for 15 hours and I'm going to fucking bed. And have I mentioned that for all this fucking bullshit, for all this grinding my teeth and fucking around with loose cables and dodgy fucking drives, I'm not even getting paid for this shit?

[jm]

I seem to have developed a habit of shutting the fuck up as soon as someone starts talking over me.

[diesel_powered]

Fucking. Headache.

[auto-da-fey]

One of my oldest and closest friends is in town, and I spent all day yesterday giving him a walking tour of Philly east of Broad, from deep South Philly to way north of Temple.

Today was supposed to be the west end--Rittenhouse, Eastern State Penitentiary, Art Museum, Penn, etc.. Today it's also rainy as fuck, as tomorrow is supposed to be. I even borrowed a bike for him from this anarchist collective, but it's not much use now. Oh well, maybe we'll just recreate the old days: sit around, drink, and argue about shit. No fucking WAY was Stop or My Mom Will Shoot better than Oscar.

[jm]

uuuggghh.

[jm]

Also, really hating people with umbrellas right now.

[milesofsparks]

so Verizon suspended my account.  I have autopay which, as a matter of fact, was debited from my account yesterday.  I'm pretty sure I spoke to people on at least two continents--each one made up a new story and transfered me to someone else.  wtf?  one guy told me I needed to have a fake email address as the first entry in my address book, because that's what someone once told him to do when he had AOL mail and probably some spammer had stolen my email and that's why my account was suspended.  someone else told me I hadn't paid my bill.  someone else told me they tried to call me and got some dude's voicemail.  ARRRRRRGGGGGGHHHH!

my laptop is able to access the wireless webs.  restarting the desktop now...

[mixed cats]

I messed with every laptop at Best Buy today just to get an idea and I HATED HATED HATED HATED every single one. HATE. This may have something to do with the festering low-level rage I've been carrying for a couple of days but oh my god people why can't you make a trackpad that DOESN'T FUCKING SUCK?

[jm]

cats, I totally understand your rage re: cornputers.  I have been without one for ~2 years now, and don't really see how I'm going to be able to afford one, say, ever.  That shit is just straight up outside my price range, period.  But I need one anyway, for pretty much every aspect of my life.

[elpollodiablo]

There are some totally decent notebooks out there for ~$400 and under. I know that's still a chunk of change, but if you absolutely need one (and I can imagine you do), there are options. Would a netbook do for you?

[jm]

See, that's the thing - right now, my only computer access (outside of work, where we are obviously quite limited) is the Mac Mini we have*, which is (I believe) a release behind the current Mac Mini, and the one we have just barely runs Logic at all.  I'd like to get a laptop, but I honestly think the best chance I have is getting the current Mac Mini (again, assuming it'll do what I need it to), but even that requires me meeting a generous leprechaun or winning the lottery.

* and the access I have to it is limited to maybe two hours a week, and that overlaps with the tiny amount of time I have with my girlfriend and also risks waking a grumpy housemate.  So it's really kind of untenable in the long term.

[jm]

and the killer thing is that I could 100% afford payments if I could get credit with which to purchase it, but that's out of the question, too.  And every time I've gotten several hundred dollars (which takes months and months at my pay rate) together saved up, something shitty happens or band expenses come up.

[elpollodiablo]

I hear ya. I basically live hand to mouth, as well, and my credit's far too fucked up to get a card. All of my tech purchases (which aren't many) have been a result of sporadic windfalls or student loan money--that's how I got my notebook.

But if you don't absolutely need a portable, you might consider building your own box. This would allow you not only to customize it to your needs (e.g., specialized badass soundcard, &c.), but you could buy each component as you found the skrilla, and assemble it over time.

[jm]

That's an option, I guess, but I'd rather go with something I know (because I really don't know jack shit about hardware anymore).  And the spread-out-over-time option is not very appealing to me, because I really do not want to have like, part of a computer for the rest of my life due to the kind of shit that just constantly fucking sets me back.

[mixed cats]

Sorry about your situation, jm. My case is waaaaaaaaaaay more want than need, so I'm just being whiny!

[jm]

Nah, I mean.  I'm certainly not not being whiny.  Mostly it's just a lasting frustration that has resurfaced just recently while watching people get new computers left and right around me.  Which I understand is a dumb thing to be annoyed about, but hey.

[jm]

OK, now I'm losing my fucking mind.

(edit: because, on top of already not being able to afford a computer, I've just been informed that I need to come up with $150 in the next two weeks)

[Greg Nog]

Have you guys ever made your own computers?  I was looking into that a little while back, building a basic PC out of newegg parts.  It looked like a fun time.