It's furniture-throwing time: New Angroyed thread

[diesel_powered]

What, no ice machine? Or if worse comes to worst, convenience store with bags of ice?

[FreddyKnuckles]

There were dudes leering at me from the second floor as I got my stuff out my car. I'm not generally worried about such things as I'm not a good mugging target (large man, shitty car--there are easier more lucrative targets) but nonetheless I don't really feel like wandering around in the dark trying to find an ice machine.

Maybe I'm at a motel... is that what its called when everything is outside?


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edit... heh stupid autocorrect

[davy]

tugging Target (large man, shirt car

[FreddyKnuckles]

heh

[FreddyKnuckles]

Well... my hand fucking hurts and my knuckles are black because I hold my pen like an idiot, and my head hurts.  But I have a shitty hotel room, a grocery store sandwich, and a garbage can full of ice and beer, so life is good. 

Except my keychain beer opener broke.  This is probably the ninth or tenth keychain beer opener I've broken due to overuse. 

Oh and the test was a big shitshow.  The proctors were fucking morons.  Kept passing out the wrong shit and fucking things up.

5 1/2 hours of total test time today.  TOOK WELL OVER 8 HOURS TO ADMINISTER GAAHHH

[Ignatius]

What are your bottle openers made of, cheese? Also are you left handed?

I hope things aren't too anxious for you until you get your scores!

[diesel_powered]

Relax, yr gonna do fine.

[FreddyKnuckles]

6 hour multistate exam tomorrow. 

I had this beer opener except it said University of Montana on it and was grey.  Most of the ones I've broken looked like this but I've broken a few metal ones too.

[elpollodiablo]

You owe yourself a great big belt buckle with which to open beers once this test is over

[FreddyKnuckles]

I will break it.

Good thing this room has a safe

The door is great for prying open beer

[davy]

I keep one of these in my wallet. It's never failed me.

[Thermofusion]

Being in a hotel room with some nice craft brews and no bottle opener is uniquely frustrating, but it's also kind of fun to go around the room improvising a solution. If the sink vanity has one of those built-in "tissue holes" (dispensers?), you can pry the cap off against that with a swift, precise motion of manly brutality.

[davy]

I broke the top off a bottle of Full Sail Amber Ale last week whilst trying to pry it open via the rivets of a sewage pipe, 12 feet above rushing rapids on the Oconee River.

True story.

[YojimboMonkey]

Put edge of bottlecap down on top of the dresser with lip of bottle against the top edge.  Slight downward pressure on bottle, bop down on the cap with fist or heel of palm.  Done deal.  Gouges hell out of furniture but fuck 'em.

[FreddyKnuckles]

Put edge of bottlecap down on top of the dresser with lip of bottle against the top edge.  Slight downward pressure on bottle, bop down on the cap with fist or heel of palm.  Done deal.  Gouges hell out of furniture but fuck 'em.

Yeah I picked the safe with this method cause I figured I'd do the least damage.  WRONG!

[The_Tourist]

one day i'll become competent at the bic lighter method of bottle opening.  everyone in the world seems to be able to do it except for me.

[FreddyKnuckles]

It's a useful skill, but I don't carry around a lighter anymore so it is useless to me now. 

[FreddyKnuckles]

I keep one of these in my wallet. It's never failed me.

I don't know.  The couple of metal ones I've had lasted longer than the plastic ones but I've still slowly eroded the metal down to nothing

[The_Tourist]

It's a useful skill, but I don't carry around a lighter anymore so it is useless to me now. 

yeah...i actually shouldn't.  if i carry a lighter while drinking i tend to randomly light things on fire.  not everyone appreciates that.

[diesel_powered]

But really, once you master the lighter, you can open beers on anything.

[Ignatius]

My brother uses his asthma pump. My other brother works in marketing for a very large beer company and basically has a large quantity of various bottle openers on hand at any given time. I usually use my keys in a pinch, but you have to be careful not to gouge your own fingers... You can't get good leverage like you would with a lighter so it's more of a brute force thing.

[diesel_powered]

I usually just use the clip on my keys.

[davy]

I must admit I thought there'd be more interest in the sewage pipe.

[Ignatius]

Were you sitting on a ledge with your legs swingin' free? I pretty much imagined a scene in completeness and I was real satisfied with this image so I didn't think to ask follow-up questions.

[davy]

Well, ahem, since you asked...

It was a pretty wide pipe--probably 4 or 5 feet in diameter. We'd been canoeing upstream when we came across it. We pulled up on shore and were walking across the top of it to get to the other side of the river and I had this unopened beer in my hand. I'd been doing most of the steering in the boat and hadn't had a chance to open it yet. I had the thirst. I kept trying to use Jim's method on any edge I could find, thinking, it's metal, it'll work. But the pipe was rusted to shit, and every time I smacked it, it just made the metal flake off. So I whacked the neck of the bottle against a concrete piling and poured what I could into my mouth.

A half-hour later we passed a tent city under the North Avenue bridge. That was eye-opening.