Five Foods On A Desert Island

[Greg Nog]

This came up in recent conversation: Stranded on a desert island, you have a magic box that can create any five foods (not drinks, that's a whole separate discussion, man).  Assume that these foods will be all you can eat for the rest of your days.  Magically, you do not need to worry about nutrition, just the pleasure of the food. 

"Food," here, is defined rather loosely; I chose lettuce for one of mine, whereas my ladyfriend chose salad, which includes lettuce as one of its components.  Just don't, like, go all hog-wild and be like, "MY FOOD IS A FULL BUFFET", etc.

WHAT FIVE FOODS WILL YOU CHOOSE?  For bonus points, say a small reason for why you chose each one.

[jess]

What about variability? Like, if your ladyfriend chose salad, is it the same exact kind of salad each time? I would tend to assume so, but that seems like an important distinction. Otherwise I would without a doubt choose salad too.

[Greg Nog]

No, just one salad.  Though of course, you could pick out pieces and throw them away in order to create a small and disheartening amount of variability.  Or perhaps add some edible plant matter, should you happen to find any on the island.  But there is no guarantee of the island's plants being nontoxic.

[elpollodiablo]

Chicken - because it is maybe my favorite food, certainly my favorite walkin around food
Peppers - like bell peppers and banana peppers and chili peppers
Bread - gotta carbo load to keep my mass up lol
Cheese - who the fuck am I kidding
Asparagus/Broccoli - is it okay that I say both asparagus & broccoli y/n

If I needed a slot for oil/mustards/vinegar/sauces I would probably edge out cheese.

[jess]

No, just one salad.  Though of course, you could pick out pieces and throw them away in order to create a small and disheartening amount of variability.  Or perhaps add some edible plant matter, should you happen to find any on the island.  But there is no guarantee of the island's plants being nontoxic.

You know what would be the best compound food workaround in that manner? Trail mix. Get one with a variety of nuts, dried fruit and chocolate. Mine would definitely have pieces of crystalized ginger in it. I would feel like I was cheating if I picked that though.

[El_Josharino]

Steak - because come on.
Potatoes - mash 'em, boil 'em, bake 'em, whatever.
Tacos - (obv.) can this just be a thing, or do i need each ingredient? This is like the salad thing, right?
Peppers - I'm with pollo on this one, if it can just be a broad assortment of peppers. If I've gotta choose a specific pepper it's gonna be green bell or jalapeno, probably, but I'd sure like to have some serranos and even some real hot ones, y'know, to keep the sinuses clear.
Is herbs and spices and sauces all one thing? If so, then I'll probably go with that. If I need to do a specific thing, then I'll just say gravy. Can I just say gravy, or does it have to be broken down to flour and butter and stock (although I could easily make some pretty kickin' stock from the steak drippings and peppers, so really I just need flour and butter).

[Greg Nog]

ACCEPTIBILITY JUDGEMENTS:
ASPARAGUS/BROCCOLI NO, TRAIL MIX YES, TACOS YES, GRAVY YES, MULTITUDE OF UNRELATED SPICES NO

[El_Josharino]

What about peppers?

[Greg Nog]

I will reluctantly allow an assortment of peppers, though I like the idea of sharing which of those peppers would be the single go-to pepper if need be.

[El_Josharino]

Also, do I need to lay out my taco build beforehand? Because if so, they'll consist of shell, beef, black beans, cheese, tomatoes, onions, jalapenos, lettuce, sriracha, sour cream. Then I can deconstruct this and do all sorts of things. Shit yes.

[El_Josharino]

This is going to be the best island ever.

[El_Josharino]

Hey pollo, let's build a raft to go back and forth between our islands so that we can share ingredients.

[elpollodiablo]

Well FUCK IT then I'll have a goddamn BURRITO with broccoli and asparagus in it

NO JUSTICE NO PEACE

[peacocks]

mushroom and pineapple pizza- can't live without pizza
sandwich with romaine lettuce tomato avocado cucumber sprouts provolone and dijon mustard on rye- can't live without a sandwich
brownies- my favorite dessert
inari- absolute best snack in the world
veggie sushi roll- can't live without sushi

i'm going to miss burritos, empanadias, spaghetti, and curry I prefer things I can eat with my hands.

[coldforge]

My list turned out to be surprisingly noodley, but I can't find fault with it:

* Half sour pickles (kimchi was in the running, but I have to take the long view here)
* Spaghetti carbonara (the real stuff, of course, with guanciale or pancetta)
* Pad kee mao, Thai drunken noodles
* Greek salad (one needs a lighter option)
* Pho (had to do due diligence here and sub in for my first choice, dosa)

[dieblucasdie]

Y'all missed the part where Nog said that nutrition was not a factor:

-Sausage Pizza (Chicago deep-dish)
-Pepperoni Pizza (NY style)
-A flaky-crust pesto-based pizza with artichokes and tomatoes (one needs a lighter option)
-Plain Cheese Pizza (Papa Johns, Nog, can I get a ruling on whether the garlic dipping sauce is included or not?)
-Garlic and Green Olive Pizza (thin crust)

[peacocks]

i vote for garlic dipping sauce to be included. I also greatly admire blucas for going the all pizza route. What courage.

[dieblucasdie]

NB: the Papa Johns entry assumes that the "whole other conversation" drink machine gets me access to some sort of beer

[Thermofusion]

Oysters
Pulled Pork sandwiches
Okra
Sweet Potatoes
Old Bay seasoning?

I think I just regurgitated my Alien Feast menu

Guys that garlic dipping sauce is nasty and unnatural, that shit's Cthulhu Mucus...Papa John's keeping one of them Elder Things chained down somewhere in a rural Kentucky warehouse, making it splurt out that garlic shit from its xenoplasm ducts

[dieblucasdie]

cf post preceding yours

[YojimboMonkey]

yeah if you got to include some assy dips to distract people from how shitty the pizza they just paid for is, you might wanna reconsider your calling. then again they apparently are raking in money.  I was in Kentucky to tour some bourbon distilleries last year and the girl at the hotel bar recommended Papa Johns to us as the good pizza place.  The good one.  Goddamn if that's the good pizza you might as well just go back to hunting and fricaseeing squirrels and raccoons and fucking opossums.

[Thermofusion]

Fucking opossums or fucking opossums?

[mixed cats]

Paneer bhurji dosa
Nachos but like the idiot way I make them
Cheese ravioli in marinara
Salad
avocado rolls

Tell pizza I miss it, blucas

[Bernard]

genghis khan


milanesa gordita


fruit from fruit cart guy (with lime and chile)


florentines


cheese sandwich from borough market cheese guy


I can see why this game is impossible. I haven't even gotten into the soul food, Persian or Chinese foods...

[Ignatius]

I think I pretty much eat five different things at a maximum for three or four month stretches and it's way depressing - right now it's eggplant parm roll, cheese sandwich, ice cream sandwich, cheese fries, and quesadilla. So much dairy (not the ice cream though), makes my stomach all slidey and unconmfortable just thinking about it.

I... I will take advantage of this opportunity to envision a world where I am happy eating the five things and subsequently change my fortunes. You have shined a warm yellow light upon the dark corner of my life where I eat food, Greg Nog. God bless you.

I will have to think about it though, for some time.

There will be a rice and lentil dish, that much is certain already.