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642223 Posts in 9127 Topics by 3369 Members Latest Member: - SlowWestVulture Most online today: 83 - most online ever: 494 (Jul 01, 2007, 02:59:53 PM)
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Author Topic: The quotable LPTJ  (Read 133351 times)
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Wally
Registered user

Posts: 9184
« Reply #175 on: Dec 06, 2005, 10:13:26 PM »
Blake if it make you feel better, I am nothing without you. A Frank Pembleton without his Tim Bayliss. Apart we are pretty, together we are beautiful.
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Thus begin the chronicles of the Self-Loathing Gay Commando.
rockmeamadeus
Registered user

Posts: 7199
« Reply #176 on: Dec 06, 2005, 10:14:25 PM »
Wally, you can be my Karl Malone anytime.
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Wally
Registered user

Posts: 9184
« Reply #177 on: Dec 06, 2005, 10:20:21 PM »
Who the troutfuck is Karl Malone?
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Thus begin the chronicles of the Self-Loathing Gay Commando.
dieblucasdie
Registered user

Posts: 24086
« Reply #178 on: Dec 06, 2005, 10:21:27 PM »
He's a man with a scary mustache who has a lot of guns.
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he was basically your only chance at making the world love you.
alexandra
Registered user

Posts: 7030
« Reply #179 on: Dec 06, 2005, 10:22:37 PM »
Quote from: "Wally"
Who the troutfuck is Karl Malone?


essentially dom, blake asked you to be his big black man.
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this message is now diamonds
dieblucasdie
Registered user

Posts: 24086
« Reply #180 on: Dec 06, 2005, 10:23:50 PM »
Somone please post a filthy pun on "low post"
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he was basically your only chance at making the world love you.
rockmeamadeus
Registered user

Posts: 7199
« Reply #181 on: Dec 06, 2005, 10:37:12 PM »
Who the fuck is Tim Bayliss?
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dieblucasdie
Registered user

Posts: 24086
« Reply #182 on: Dec 06, 2005, 10:40:16 PM »
Actually Malone/Stockton and Pembleton/Bayliss are surprisingly similar, so you're still on the same page, don't worry Blake.
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he was basically your only chance at making the world love you.
rockmeamadeus
Registered user

Posts: 7199
« Reply #183 on: Dec 06, 2005, 10:45:38 PM »
Quote from: "dieblucasdie"
Actually Malone/Stockton and Pembleton/Bayliss are surprisingly similar, so you're still on the same page, don't worry Blake.


Ok, sweet. Thanks.
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Gracelette
Registered user

Posts: 1723
« Reply #184 on: Dec 07, 2005, 03:26:12 AM »
Quote from: "coldforge"
You just gotta be like, "Listen, dude. I was harsh before. Picture of a guy with long hair hugging a cartoon chicken with a devil tail."


Seriously.

Gracelette
-x-
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clare
Registered user

Posts: 4870
« Reply #185 on: Dec 08, 2005, 06:27:22 AM »
Quote from: "Wally"
troutfuck


*giggle*
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Even if your nether rod works on 100%, it is a good decision to give it 150% strength.
coldforge
Registered user

Posts: 11798
« Reply #186 on: Dec 08, 2005, 07:11:49 PM »
Quote from: "carapacegreen"

She is basically what you get when you cross a teddy bear and a clawfoot bathtub.
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è l'era del terzo mondo.
db
Registered user

Posts: 1008
« Reply #187 on: Dec 09, 2005, 06:11:18 AM »
Quote from: "dieblucasdie"
Please.  John Stockton don't even know what the key looks like.  If he made a basket it was cuz he accidentally bounced a pass off Bryon Russell's head.


This just officially became my favorite thread derailment of all time, mostly because I seriously enjoy the mental image of a basketball being flung into the head of Byron Russell (or anyone on the damn Utah Jazz, for that matter).

Of course, to be fair to Rockme.... erm... John Stockton, he did average more than 15 points a game for six straight seasons.

Also let it be known that I fucking hate Karl Malone (sorry, Wally).  How does Brent Barry's nose foul Malone's elbow, officials? Huh? Fuckers.
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I didn't write that; it was on some asshole's website.
rockmeamadeus
Registered user

Posts: 7199
« Reply #188 on: Dec 09, 2005, 09:59:42 AM »
Yo, db, I ain't got no quarrel with you, man, but you best STEP OFF.

The mid-90's Jazz was the only sports team I ever really loved, and when you diss them, you diss me.

SO STEP THE FUCK OFF. WALLY IS MY KARL MALONE.
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jebreject
Registered user

Posts: 26401
« Reply #189 on: Dec 09, 2005, 10:00:33 AM »
And when you diss Blake, you diss yourself, mothafucka!
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I've seen you pound your fist in to the earth.
dieblucasdie
Registered user

Posts: 24086
« Reply #190 on: Dec 09, 2005, 10:16:09 AM »
It may be heresy here in Chicago, but "The Shot" was made possible only by MJ shoving the fuck out of Bryon Russell.


That said, I love the current Bulls, because I like my sports teams scrappy and inconsistent.
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he was basically your only chance at making the world love you.
rockmeamadeus
Registered user

Posts: 7199
« Reply #191 on: Dec 09, 2005, 10:18:17 AM »
Quote from: "dieblucasdie"
It may be heresy here in Chicago, but "The Shot" was made possible only by MJ shoving the fuck out of Bryon Russell.


That said, I love the current Bulls, because I like my sports teams scrappy and inconsistent.


All you speak is gospel.
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diesel_powered
Registered user

Posts: 19210
« Reply #192 on: Dec 12, 2005, 02:58:41 AM »
Quote from: "Greg Nog"
"Call me when you got mammals other than fuckin' monotremes!"
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Quote
she had me at "let's make a sandwich"
Good Intentions
Registered user

Posts: 13642
« Reply #193 on: Dec 13, 2005, 05:43:49 AM »
Quote from: "Wally"
For the record my father looks nothing like Gabriel Byrne, and because of this I have not slept with him. Although his lawyers have requested that I point out that he has never even offered.
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coldforge
Registered user

Posts: 11798
« Reply #194 on: Dec 13, 2005, 01:53:03 PM »
Quote from: "Greg Nog"
Quote from: "coldforge"
....WHAT


Guy 1: "Do you have any Irish blood in you?"

Guy 2: "No."

Guy 1:  "Would you like some?"  (pours blood down the throat of Guy 2, who begins sputtering and choking and screaming for Guy 1 to stop)

Guy 1:  "Ha ha HA!!!!  Taste the essence of my darkness!!!  Revel in the unholy fluid!!!"

You know, like how we met.


nog wins everything
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è l'era del terzo mondo.
Wally
Registered user

Posts: 9184
« Reply #195 on: Dec 15, 2005, 12:51:11 PM »
Lots of LPTJers wrote:

Quote
Stuff about the proper use of grammar and punctuation.


Greg Nog wrote:
Quote
SLAP.
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Thus begin the chronicles of the Self-Loathing Gay Commando.
heather
Guest
« Reply #196 on: Dec 15, 2005, 01:19:56 PM »
Quote from: "Bernard"
tee hee
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RoyBiggins
Registered user

Posts: 6265
« Reply #197 on: Dec 15, 2005, 07:02:34 PM »
Quote from: "coldforge"
Quote from: "Greg Nog"
Quote from: "coldforge"
....WHAT


Guy 1: "Do you have any Irish blood in you?"

Guy 2: "No."

Guy 1:  "Would you like some?"  (pours blood down the throat of Guy 2, who begins sputtering and choking and screaming for Guy 1 to stop)

Guy 1:  "Ha ha HA!!!!  Taste the essence of my darkness!!!  Revel in the unholy fluid!!!"

You know, like how we met.


nog wins everything


Holy fucking shit attack on America!  That is probably the funniest thing since the moo-latte.  You should probably draw that into a comic, Greg.

Edited to add:
I've gotta tell this story.  A variation on the theme.

A guy at a party cornered my friend Jess by putting his arms on either side of her so she was pinned against the wall.  He says, suavely, "Hey...have you ever fucked a Mexican?"  she says "No...why?  Are you a mexican?" mockingly.  The guy gets close to her face again and says, almost in astonishment "Naw...but I hear they can FUCK!"   Then he goes away.
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This year's Village Voice Jizz and Pap list had a whole lot of birds I'd never even heard of before.
davy
Registered user

Posts: 24643
« Reply #198 on: Dec 16, 2005, 11:56:11 AM »
Quote from: "gracelette"
Chet, I totally have a phobia of snakes too but, y'know, when they reach 70ft, you just got to go along with it, I reckon.


hey! this is my first appearance in this thread!

(credit where its due, and all that.)
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The drummer IS the foundation, p3wn.
DCDave
Registered user

Posts: 10283
« Reply #199 on: Dec 16, 2005, 05:15:43 PM »
Quote from: "heather"


Yes x 10000
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But what the fuck do I know, I have a penis.
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