Favorite jokes

[dumbfish]

You know a pan steak?

[Thermofusion]

Well done, sir!

[kyle]

My personal favorite of the lightbulb jokes:

"How many feminists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?"

"That's fucked up!"

[kyle]

Late one evening, a man who was walking his dog comes upon an economist (you can always tell an economist from anyone else at first glance, of course) who is searching the ground under a street light. The passerby asks the economist what he is doing.

“I'm looking for my lost keys,” says the man searching the ground. “I dropped them on my way home from that bar down there” he says with a slight slur, pointing to an establishment of somewhat disreputable appearance at the far end of the street.

The passerby offers to help search for the keys, but after several minutes of searching under the street light they have no luck. “Are you sure you dropped them here?” asks the passerby.

“Oh, I have no idea if I dropped them here," says the economist, now swaying ever so slightly. “All I know is that I think I’m pretty sure that I dropped them somewhere on this street on my way home.”

“Then why are you only looking under this street light?”

“Well…” replies the economist very slowly, blinking with the effort. “Because this is where I can see the best.”

[reebty]

Michael Stipe, Mike Mills and Peter Buck don't walk into a club...


Q: How many electricians does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: One, 'cause, you know...


Q: What do you call a guy who glues Pringles to your front door and throws hammers at them?

A: An asshole.


Q: What's grey and can't climb trees?

A: A parking lot.


Q: Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle?

A: His wife's dead.

[reebty]

There are two fish in a tank. One says to the other "you wouldn't happen to know how to drive this thing, would you?"