17 Reasons Not to Slit Your Wrists...by Michael Moore

[Ah_Pook]

i pass this along without comment

Dear Friends,

Ok, it sucks. Really sucks. But before you go and cash it all in, let's, in the words of Monty Python, “always look on the bright side of life!” There IS some good news from Tuesday's election.

Here are 17 reasons not to slit your wrists:

1. It is against the law for George W. Bush to run for president again.

2. Bush's victory was the NARROWEST win for a sitting president since Woodrow Wilson in 1916.

3. The only age group in which the majority voted for Kerry was young adults (Kerry: 54%, Bush: 44%), proving once again that your parents are always wrong and you should never listen to them.

4. In spite of Bush's win, the majority of Americans still think the country is headed in the wrong direction (56%), think the war wasn't worth fighting (51%), and don’t approve of the job George W. Bush is doing (52%). (Note to foreigners: Don't try to figure this one out. It's an American thing, like Pop Tarts.)

5. The Republicans will not have a filibuster-proof 60-seat majority in the Senate. If the Democrats do their job, Bush won't be able to pack the Supreme Court with right-wing ideologues. Did I say "if the Democrats do their job?" Um, maybe better to scratch this one.

6. Michigan voted for Kerry! So did the entire Northeast, the birthplace of our democracy. So did 6 of the 8 Great Lakes States. And the whole West Coast! Plus Hawaii. Ok, that's a start. We've got most of the fresh water, all of Broadway, and Mt. St. Helens. We can dehydrate them or bury them in lava. And no more show tunes!

7. Once again we are reminded that the buckeye is a nut, and not just any old nut -- a poisonous nut. A great nation was felled by a poisonous nut. May Ohio State pay dearly this Saturday when it faces Michigan.

8. 88% of Bush's support came from white voters. In 50 years, America will no longer have a white majority. Hey, 50 years isn't such a long time! If you're ten years old and reading this, your golden years will be truly golden and you will be well cared for in your old age.

9. Gays, thanks to the ballot measures passed on Tuesday, cannot get married in 11 new states. Thank God. Just think of all those wedding gifts we won't have to buy now.

10. Five more African Americans were elected as members of Congress, including the return of Cynthia McKinney of Georgia. It's always good to have more blacks in there fighting for us and doing the job our candidates can't.

11. The CEO of Coors was defeated for Senate in Colorado. Drink up!

12. Admit it: We like the Bush twins and we don't want them to go away.

13. At the state legislative level, Democrats picked up a net of at least 3 chambers in Tuesday's elections. Of the 98 partisan-controlled state legislative chambers (house/assembly and senate), Democrats went into the 2004 elections in control of 44 chambers, Republicans controlled 53 chambers, and 1 chamber was tied. After Tuesday, Democrats now control 47 chambers, Republicans control 49 chambers, 1 chamber is tied and 1 chamber (Montana House) is still undecided.

14. Bush is now a lame duck president. He will have no greater moment than the one he's having this week. It's all downhill for him from here on out -- and, more significantly, he's just not going to want to do all the hard work that will be expected of him. It'll be like everyone's last month in 12th grade -- you've already made it, so it's party time! Perhaps he'll treat the next four years like a permanent Friday, spending even more time at the ranch or in Kennebunkport. And why shouldn't he? He's already proved his point, avenged his father and kicked our ass.

15. Should Bush decide to show up to work and take this country down a very dark road, it is also just as likely that either of the following two scenarios will happen: a) Now that he doesn't ever need to pander to the Christian conservatives again to get elected, someone may whisper in his ear that he should spend these last four years building "a legacy" so that history will render a kinder verdict on him and thus he will not push for too aggressive a right-wing agenda; or b) He will become so cocky and arrogant -- and thus, reckless -- that he will commit a blunder of such major proportions that even his own party will have to remove him from office.

16. There are nearly 300 million Americans -- 200 million of them of voting age. We only lost by three and a half million! That's not a landslide -- it means we're almost there. Imagine losing by 20 million. If you had 58 yards to go before you reached the goal line and then you barreled down 55 of those yards, would you stop on the three yard line, pick up the ball and go home crying -- especially when you get to start the next down on the three yard line? Of course not! Buck up! Have hope! More sports analogies are coming!!!

17. Finally and most importantly, over 55 million Americans voted for the candidate dubbed "The #1 Liberal in the Senate." That's more than the total number of voters who voted for either Reagan, Bush I, Clinton or Gore. Again, more people voted for Kerry than Reagan. If the media are looking for a trend it should be this -- that so many Americans were, for the first time since Kennedy, willing to vote for an out-and-out liberal. The country has always been filled with evangelicals -- that is not news. What IS news is that so many people have shifted toward a Massachusetts liberal. In fact, that's BIG news. Which means, don't expect the mainstream media, the ones who brought you the Iraq War, to ever report the real truth about November 2, 2004. In fact, it's better that they don't. We'll need the element of surprise in 2008.

Feeling better? I hope so. As my friend Mort wrote me yesterday, "My Romanian grandfather used to say to me, 'Remember, Morton, this is such a wonderful country  -- it doesn't even need a president!'"

But it needs us. Rest up, I'll write you again tomorrow.

Yours,

Michael Moore
MMFlint@aol.com
www.michaelmoore.com

[Lalitree]

That was pretty good, especially the last one.

[sedita]

yup. if you check michaelmoore.com,
his first post-election post
is a real tearstarter.
be warned.
be warned.

j.

[davy]

that actually did make me feel better.

[Marie]

I know 9 is supposed to be tongue in cheek, but it's a poor excuse for humor and is in pretty fucking poor taste coming from Moore.

[milly balgeary]

I know 9 is supposed to be tongue in cheek, but it's a poor excuse for humor and is in pretty fucking poor taste coming from Moore.

i am the first to say that michael moore in many way, well, he's a sad sack of shit. he's a dump in which god threw the worst parts of a documentary maker.

but why is that in poor taste?

[Lalitree]

yup. if you check michaelmoore.com,
his first post-election post
is a real tearstarter.
be warned.
be warned.

j.

Wow.

I like MM, I think his films are great. I think he really cares and wants do do good for the world. Just look at how much the right hates him, he must be doing something right.

[jebreject]

I really, really, really hated Farenheit 9/11.  I've liked all his other movies, though.

[milly balgeary]

god its like we're divided enough that we might as well start calling states.

[crystalcakes]

i will out myself.

i have worked for him since february, but only part time since the movie came out.  i have never agreed with everything the guy has to say but i am constantly amazed at how tirelessly he works and how much he gives away in charity.  

i think that if everyone worked as hard and believed in themselves as much, we would all be better off.  

working in that kind of environment just made me feel very lazy in my own life.  

i thought the list was nice because many people were in a horrible depression this past week.

[Keith from TTIKTDA]

Crystal, if you don't mind my asking, in what capacity do you work for him?

[Tsahkratis]

Author Message
Tsahkratis



Joined: 11 Sep 2004
Posts: 20
Location: Louisville, KY
  Posted: Mon Oct 04, 2004 6:17 pm  

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
(crickets chirping)

_________________
Tsahkratis
 
 
 
haav



Joined: 01 Aug 2004
Posts: 48
Location: Madison, WI
  Posted: Mon Oct 04, 2004 8:37 pm  

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shore is a lovely night out.
 
 
 
 
jebreject



Joined: 02 Aug 2004
Posts: 758
Location: Milwaukee, WI
  Posted: Mon Oct 04, 2004 10:39 pm  

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
it's been coooooollllddd all day, and it's supposed to freeze tonight. cover up them gardens, y'all ...

_________________
what time is it? time to organize!

educate, agitate, organize
 
 
 
trailofmusic



Joined: 01 Aug 2004
Posts: 144
Location: Houston
  Posted: Mon Oct 04, 2004 10:51 pm  

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
the South

_________________
The trial has begun!

This is my ant-war protest.
 
 
 
Tsahkratis



Joined: 11 Sep 2004
Posts: 20
Location: Louisville, KY
  Posted: Wed Oct 06, 2004 8:11 pm  

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Jane all tao past art, k?

"Tsahkratis! Haav jeb reject the trail of musical chads!" (crickets chirping) Shore is a lovely night out. It's been coooooollllddd all day, and it's supposed to freeze tonight. Ya'll in the South better cover up them gardens.

Soccer tease my dream! Girl don't exist if you know what I mean. It was tragic, really, you see, at the age of five she slit her wrists. It's only recently that the the trial has begun. This is not just my ant-war protest, you know. Why, it's a cold case uh Bud, in amongst the tumbleweeds, whistlin' and wind.

Jane all tao past art, k?
 
 
 
 
Tsahkratis



Joined: 11 Sep 2004
Posts: 20
Location: Louisville, KY
  Posted: Wed Nov 03, 2004 9:12 pm  

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
(nerdlihc on)
IMLIHILATEYWAGWAIHYDIHWBD

I prayed tonight.
I haven't prayed since I was a kid, going to Sunday School at a Lutheran Church in West Chicago, IL.
Jesus, that was back in 1976.
I remember being in plays and wearing long flowing garments, with belts and straps, all rich with brown against a sandy beige blanket of hue. Real sand-digger fare.
I remeber little envelopes with change.
I gave.
From my own allowance, I gave.
I prayed tonight.
I prayed for God to smite the smug Texan.
I prayed for God to wipe that fucking smile from his face.
I called out to evil.
I offerred my soul.
Please, oh beings of little chance of being, please, if you are there, send a chariot filled with lead.
Dash down upon the brow of this wicked filth.
P l e a s e, rain down upon the man
W i t h a fury of peace

IMLIHILATEYWAGWAIHYDIHWBD
(nerdlihc on)

if you will come all the way down with me
(organ)

what will I do when I don't have you
when I finally get what I deserve

_________________
Tsahkratis
 
 
 
Keith from TTIKTDA



Joined: 04 Aug 2004
Posts: 335
Location: Noo Yawk Ciddy.
  Posted: Wed Nov 03, 2004 10:15 pm  

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Nice catch on that song. Seems more applicable now than ever.

_________________
--Keith

http://teachingtheindiekidstodanceagain.blogspot.com
(I should really get a banner of some sort. Or a domain. My address is long.)
 
 
 
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[milly balgeary]

crystal is michael's "muse".

[crystalcakes]

Crystal, if you don't mind my asking, in what capacity do you work for him?

for the movie i watched footage, looked for stats clips, picked music etc... just a jack of all trades in post (which is where most of his movies are made).

more recently i was watching footage of the slackers uprising tour for that dvd.

wanna know real depression- spend your saturday watching all the footage from tuesday of people saying "we're up by 4 in ohio!  things are looking good!" and "i don't want to jinx anything but the democrats in florida are very happy today".  oh lord, talk about slit your wrists time.

[milly balgeary]

i still haven't seen that movie.

[Baconesque]

i still haven't seen that movie.

Same here. I've heard really different things about it as well (as in my roommate, a hardcore democrat, loved it, while my friend jon, another hardcore dem, thought it made the left look petty and trite)

[milly balgeary]

i don't know about you baconesque, but especially with the elections done and gone, i feel like its moment has come and gone...

 now i don't want to buy it or rent it. i want someone to GIVE it to me.

[Lalitree]

i don't know about you baconesque, but especially with the elections done and gone, i feel like its moment has come and gone...

 now i don't want to buy it or rent it. i want someone to GIVE it to me.

There was a guy hosting the whole thing on his server before the election. http://marc.perkel.com/archives/000468.html Oh hmm, I guess it's gone now, but it's probably around on BT or something. It's worthwhile I think--there some trite moments, but there's some good stuff too.

[milly balgeary]

l-tree, i don't have cable or dsl.

i am on a campaign to get a coworker to buy it, telling him the $$ goes to various democratic charities. once he buys it, i'll suggest he loan it to me! since i do not have dsl or cable my coworkers are my symbolic bit torrent!

..now if i can just convince this one blonde coworker who wears astro-turf green turtlenecks to buy the remake of dawn of the dead, i am set for the weekend!

[crystalcakes]

go to www.michaelmoore.com
there was a campaign to get hundreds of video stores across the country to rent it out for free, as well as hundreds of free screenings.  it also aired on pbs (i was told).

[Marie]

i am the first to say that michael moore in many way, well, he's a sad sack of shit. he's a dump in which god threw the worst parts of a documentary maker.

but why is that in poor taste?

Well, the majority of his list is made up of actual reasons that can be taken at face value, and the butt of the funny ones are things like Ohio State and the white majority of America.  I don't think it's in very good taste to bring up the fact that evidently the majority of the voting public in 11 (or was it 9, I forget) states don't think gay people deserve civil rights, and say "Ha ha!  Sucks!"  I want the silver lining, not some shit from a straight guy about how he won't have to buy gifts for weddings.  The worst part about those initiatives is a good number of them not only banned marriage, but civil unions as well.

A more appropriate attempt at dark humor could have touched on the fact that these initiatives barely matter, Oregon is the only state that didn't already have some sort of same-sex union ban on the books, things were already fucked!!!

[crystalcakes]

my dad says that the only reasons for theses initiatives (note which 11 states had them on ballots) were only added to get more conservative voter turn outs in those areas.

i was too busy being depressed to even think about it rationally.  now, i am just angry that liberals let that happen.

[milly balgeary]

crystalcakes, you are right ON target.

[mackro]

Except for a few states in the Northeast at best, any gay marriage ban proposition is going to pass in any U.S. state at this point... almost every state already has some sort of proposition passed already, although not necessarily banning civil unions. (Washington state is going to rule early next year on a lawsuit filed against the Defense of Marriage Act which passed here many years ago... and put into place by a Dem no less... See Clinton also... so far many judges have ruled against the constitutionality of WA's law so far... so there's a glimmer of hope.)

Otherwise, homophobia is alive and well in the U.S. in mostly passive ways, sadly... ways that surpass partisan issues.

[crystalcakes]

you're right mackro.

my point is more, that these initiatives don't actually carry any "real" weight.  which is why there should have been no "real" reason to put it on ballots.  in retrospect i am surprised that more people didn't see it sooner.