You're goddamn right I'm UNCERTAIN

[Ignatius]

Green and brown sounds just about right for ex-smoking junk.  I've been told that it's all your cilia coming back to life after being paralyzed for so long.  Either way after about a week and a half of that, things start to feel really really good.  Like eating cheese?  It's crazy.

[jebreject]

Will look forward to that!

Adding to my anxiety about my day, however, is the fact that I forgot my bus pass at home, didn't realize it, and consequently the bus driver did not let me ride the bus. Which is hella lame, considering bus drivers in general almost never turn people away--I've seen them let people who straight up have no fare and give up some obvious hustle ride for free. I think that part of it is that I go in later on Sundays now, so this isn't my regular driver, who (hopefully) would have recognized me and let me ride anyway, since I always have a bus pass. (Thinking about it, there have been a couple other times where I'd forgotten my bus pass and didn't realize it until much later in the day, because the bus drivers apparently didn't notice or didn't care.) Anyway, I don't know why I'm so anxious today, but it's one of those things that's really spiraling on itself--the more I can't figure why I feel like this, the worse it gets, and I get that edge-of-a-panic-attack feeling. It's dumb. I think partly I just get really sick of having to do this everyday, but I mean, everyone has to get up and do this everyday, so why can't I deal with it? Blah blah blah listen to Jeb whine ...

[Ignatius]

Coming back to work, especially if it wasn't your choice to take off, always kinda has those feelings...  Especially with the "get really sick of having to do this everyday."  You're never more aware of habits than when they're temporarily broken.  And I wouldn't be surprised if the no cigarette thing fed a little into your anxiety. 

[jebreject]

Ignatius, you're a good bud.

[Ignatius]

Well, y'know, it's good to recognize stuff that troubles you in other people.  I get that minor dread too, and it's hard to get out from under it.  We've all been there.

Unrelated, but...  Is there a place you know of in Milwaukee called Bavarian Haus that sells a lot of Jagermeister gear?

[jebreject]

No, but I wouldn't be surprised to learn of its existence

Any particular reason you ask?

[Ignatius]

I went to Milwaukee the summer between fourth and fifth grade (august 1994).  We went to the County Stadium to pick up our refund checks, to the PBR brewery when they were brewing PBR (I liked hamm's ice, based on my dad's taste test)...and my dad drove us by the forensics lab or crime whatever whatever so he could make a joke about jeffrey dahmer ("you are what you eat"), and then we went to a German restaurant.  Upon finding out that we were Irish-Americans, the chef came out and thanked us for letting German planes refuel before bombing London.  He was a nice enough guy, and his WWII spiel was a very minor part of the conversation (it was still uncomfortable, though).  Afterwards, he gave us all take-home sausages and Jagermeister apparel.  I still have a sherlock holmes painter's cap with the words: "Have you ever been. . .Jagered?"  I dunno.  My one day in Milwaukee left a very distinct, indelible mark on my memory and I've kinda always wanted to revisit it.  I made it as far as Waukegan when I was working out in that part of the country, but I never had a free day to take a trip up to Milwaukee...  Plus I've seen pictures of that newish art museum you guys have.  I dunno...  Maybe I'll convince my dad that we should go back there as a duo.  I love the midwest, and I was always disappointed we only spent a day up there.  Plus me and my dad could finally see a baseball game if we went back.

Sorry. I'm crazy.

[guanajuato]

Green and brown sounds just about right for ex-smoking junk.  I've been told that it's all your cilia coming back to life after being paralyzed for so long.  Either way after about a week and a half of that, things start to feel really really good.  Like eating cheese?  It's crazy.

dude! congrats on kicking that diseased camel of an addiction!

[Nick Ink]

Well, for those of you following the ongoing soap opera of my irksome but happily benign pituitary adenoma, I have this morning been having a good old natter with a radiotherapist.

The upshot is that I have to have 10 minutes of radiotherapy a day for 5 weeks in July/August. On the plus side, it will hopefully mean I don't have to have further operations, and I get a special mask made in a mould of my face! On the downside, that mask has to be screwed down with my face inside it on a daily basis while they aim radiowaves at my brain from 3 different directions, and I'll likely feel pretty knackered afterwards (what's new?)

The main hassle is more disruption to my work/life, and the prospect of trooping the 40 minute walk uphill every day after work and then getting home much later than usual. But I shouldn't grumble. The Cancer Centre where I had the appointment today, and where the treatment will be, was full of people with a lot more to feel sorry about than me.

[Wally]

Well whether there's people with more to feel sorry about than you or not, good vibrations and wishes that are well, will be beamed down to brighton from, I imagine, more than three directions.

[Nick Ink]

Ha ha! Thanks Wally!

May I say 'You drone!' (as an alternative compliment to the more usual 'You rock!')

[girl]

Well whether there's people with more to feel sorry about than you or not, good vibrations and wishes that are well, will be beamed down to brighton from, I imagine, more than three directions.

. . . including Connecticut, USA.  I'm hoping that this will be the last treatment you'll need!