There is no diaper bigger than the internet (new annoyance thread)

[Augo]

I'm hoping thats a phase though cuz I really like kids a lot especially when they're giddy and friendly.

[YojimboMonkey]

OH MY GOD I WANT ONE.

really?  'cause I have extra...

[sassymcassface]

earthquakes are stupid and walking down 8 flights of stairs hurts :mad:

[Andrew_TSKS]

pfft i intend to never get over my dislike of kids.

Word to that. Fuck being a parent anytime ever. Other people can do it if they want. I do not want.

[Andrew_TSKS]

Kids are too often too much like their parents.

qft...assholes beget assholes

Except when they beget horribly traumatized people with no self-esteem.

I speak from experience here.

[sassymcassface]

pfft i intend to never get over my dislike of kids.

Word to that. Fuck being a parent anytime ever. Other people can do it if they want. I do not want.

if you don't mind me asking, any specific reason why? or just don't like them?

[Andrew_TSKS]

I really don't feel like I've gotten all that much pleasure or enjoyment out of my life. Nor have I really gotten to do the things I want to do. If I were to have a kid now, I'd be in my mid-50s at the earliest by the time I could start actually living for myself again. Why the hell would I want to make some other human that, by virtue of my having done so, I have to be a slave to for at least 20 years? Maybe most other people's teens and 20s are a blast and by the time they hit 30 they feel like they can do that whole "I'm gonna settle down and raise a family" thing and not miss anything. I don't. And considering how perennially frustrating my life is, I doubt I ever will.

[Greg Nog]

I'll also add that my kid-hatin' is only reinforced by the bad apples...whom I always notice because, really, how can you not?  The good kids (of which I'm sure there are plenty) don't even register, to their credit

The quickest way to notice good kids is teach a classful, and then within a day, you'll be all, "Holy shit, why can't every kid on earth just be like Jafiyah over there?"

I'm psyched to have kids, but who knows when that'll end up being.

[sassymcassface]

I really don't feel like I've gotten all that much pleasure or enjoyment out of my life. Nor have I really gotten to do the things I want to do. If I were to have a kid now, I'd be in my mid-50s at the earliest by the time I could start actually living for myself again. Why the hell would I want to make some other human that, by virtue of my having done so, I have to be a slave to for at least 20 years? Maybe most other people's teens and 20s are a blast and by the time they hit 30 they feel like they can do that whole "I'm gonna settle down and raise a family" thing and not miss anything. I don't. And considering how perennially frustrating my life is, I doubt I ever will.

i have a lot of the same feelings, but i constantly hear that it is selfish to not want kids.  i don't know if that's just the odd belief that all ladies just wanna pop out babies or what.

[morgan]

How is it selfish to not want kids?  The world is overpopulated enough as it is.  I mean, I have no problem with people having a couple of kids, but saying it's selfish to not want them just seems kind of silly.

[elpollodiablo]

I can definitely see the appeal and sort of like nobility in having children and rearing em right.


That said, there's no overpopulation problem in terms of like sheer numbers and there won't be for a long long time as long as we check the growth of multinational capitalism at a few key points

[elpollodiablo]

I really don't feel like I've gotten all that much pleasure or enjoyment out of my life. Nor have I really gotten to do the things I want to do. If I were to have a kid now, I'd be in my mid-50s at the earliest by the time I could start actually living for myself again. Why the hell would I want to make some other human that, by virtue of my having done so, I have to be a slave to for at least 20 years? Maybe most other people's teens and 20s are a blast and by the time they hit 30 they feel like they can do that whole "I'm gonna settle down and raise a family" thing and not miss anything. I don't. And considering how perennially frustrating my life is, I doubt I ever will.

Hey Andrew I don't mean this at all to rile you up or nothin buddy but did you ever entertain the possibility that maybe the first 30 years of life have been generally unpleasant because you've been evaluating circumstances in terms of living for yourself?

[girl]

OH MY GOD I WANT ONE.

really?  'cause I have extra...

Ooh! I'll take Ian if you're bored with him.

[jebreject]

That said, there's no overpopulation problem in terms of like sheer numbers and there won't be for a long long time as long as we check the growth of multinational capitalism at a few key points

Word. The problem is more with distributing resources than it being too many people to provide for.

[DCDave]

I don't like the way you guys use the term capitalism to describe protectionist, regulated economies dominated by oligarchies and monopolies rather than markets where the function of government is to assist in bridging information gaps and to internalize market externalities.

[elpollodiablo]

I gotta say, I'm okay with that

[Andrew_TSKS]

I really don't feel like I've gotten all that much pleasure or enjoyment out of my life. Nor have I really gotten to do the things I want to do. If I were to have a kid now, I'd be in my mid-50s at the earliest by the time I could start actually living for myself again. Why the hell would I want to make some other human that, by virtue of my having done so, I have to be a slave to for at least 20 years? Maybe most other people's teens and 20s are a blast and by the time they hit 30 they feel like they can do that whole "I'm gonna settle down and raise a family" thing and not miss anything. I don't. And considering how perennially frustrating my life is, I doubt I ever will.

Hey Andrew I don't mean this at all to rile you up or nothin buddy but did you ever entertain the possibility that maybe the first 30 years of life have been generally unpleasant because you've been evaluating circumstances in terms of living for yourself?

I don't actually understand that criticism at all.

Oh, and sassy, the only way I could see not having children as selfish is from the point of view of your as-yet-unconceived potential children, sitting somewhere in limbo going, "You're not letting us live! HOW SELFISH OF YOU!" That strikes me as a religious point of view, and in fact an extremist one. As it is now, my potential children don't exist yet, so I can't, by definition, be DEPRIVING them of anything. Now, if I knocked a girl up and then ran out on her and left her to raise my kid alone, THAT would be selfish.

[G.C.R]

[

I really don't feel like I've gotten all that much pleasure or enjoyment out of my life. Nor have I really gotten to do the things I want to do. If I were to have a kid now, I'd be in my mid-50s at the earliest by the time I could start actually living for myself again. Why the hell would I want to make some other human that, by virtue of my having done so, I have to be a slave to for at least 20 years? Maybe most other people's teens and 20s are a blast and by the time they hit 30 they feel like they can do that whole "I'm gonna settle down and raise a family" thing and not miss anything. I don't. And considering how perennially frustrating my life is, I doubt I ever will.

I think the problem there Andrew, is nothing to do with your own upbringing, but that you're seeing having a child as being a slave to someone.
I've spent a decent amount of time working as a nanny, sometimes with kids who were pretty difficult (though their mother was more so, and theres some stuff that happened while i worked for them that I think i handled badly and feel very, to-my-dying-day ashamed of) and I alwaysthought that I would never want kids, despite liking them. I'm re-evaluating that, partly because i was with someone who hated kids and swore black and blue that he would never, ever have them. And since I thought we were going to be together forever, I figured it was not an option. Now my life is in a place where maybe one day i will want one, and that door will hopefully be open to me.

[Greg Nog]

A potential reason for the use of the term "selfish" in this context might be where family as a whole is seen as more important than its component people, so someone who makes themselves a familial dead-end is essentially saying that their individuality is more important to them than their family.

That said, I think it's total bullshit to accuse anyone of being selfish either for wanting kids or not, and the very assiest kind of normative to suggest that either one is automatically preferable to the other.


EDITed for grammar!

[Andrew_TSKS]

OK, Greg, that makes sense to me, and I never would have thought of it on my own. But yeah, I agree with you about it being bullshit.

And G.C.R.--yes, I do seeing being a parent as being a slave to a child. You're absolutely right.

[G.C.R]

YMMV, etc, but I think theres a lot more to be got out of raising a kid than that would imply.

[Ignatius]

Do it right, and the kid's your slave, not the other way around.

[Andrew_TSKS]

That just makes me think of how my parents permanently damaged my mind when I was a child and didn't know any better than to take them seriously. That's the last thing that I want to pass on to future generations.

[silentsigh89]

I fluctuate between a slightly less extreme version of Andrew's thinking to squeeing like a crazy person at every baby I see to being simply wierded out by the fact that I am biologically old enough to have kids.

Mostly I've learned that I like kids until they are about seven and then they start being mean to each other in a different way that makes me dislike them.

[diesel_powered]

I'll also add that my kid-hatin' is only reinforced by the bad apples...whom I always notice because, really, how can you not?  The good kids (of which I'm sure there are plenty) don't even register, to their credit

The quickest way to notice good kids is teach a classful, and then within a day, you'll be all, "Holy shit, why can't every kid on earth just be like Jafiyah over there?"

I'm psyched to have kids, but who knows when that'll end up being.

Totally. Most days, my kids are excellently-behaved and creepy smart. And I subject them to all kinds of crazy shit.