Dear John,

[Doctor Bob]

A deliberate mis-spelling of Aloysius, presumably, but why?

I'm guessing it's because Myke looked up the lyrics for "My Name Is Mud" by Primus and found them on a site where the transcriber transcribed the name phonetically due to not knowing that "alowishus" is spelled "Aloysius". It's the sort of name that is so unusual in America that most people probably never hear it except on that Primus song. I'm assuming it's spelled correctly on the lyric sheet of "Pork Soda", the album the song is from, since most sites on the internet have it spelled correctly, but I can't find my copy to check for sure.

From previous posts, I understood that the spelling in the song was deliberately incorrect.  (If it needs to be clarified, my original comment wasn't about Maaik's spelling, but about the spelling in the song.)

*** *** ***

Anyway...

He only smiles
She only tells him
that he's the flowers, the wind and spring
In all his splendour sweetly surrendering
The love that innocence brings

John, pure and simple
Born in a world where love survives
Now women will want him
'Cause life don't haunt him
John, You lucky lucky thing

Now I watch closely
And I watch wholly
I can't imagine love so rare
He's young and tender
But will life bend him
I look around is he everywhere

She throws him kisses
He shares her wishes
I'm sure she's keen without a doubt
With love so captive
So solely captive
I ask if I could play the part

John, You lucky lucky thing
John, You lucky lucky thing

[william]

 I thought I heard the old man say
John Kanaka-naka too lie ay
Today, today is a holiday
John Kanaka-naka too lie ay
Too lie ay, oh, to lie ay
John Kanaka-naka too lie ay

We'll work tomorrow but no work today
We'll work tomorrow but no work today

We're bound away for 'Frisco Bay
We're bound away at the break of day

We're bound away 'round Cape Horn
We wish to Christ we'd never been born

Oh haul, oh haul, oh haul away
Oh haul away and make your pay

And we are Liverpool born and bred
We're strong in the arm but we're thick in the head

Today, today is a holiday
John Kanaka-naka too lie ay
Too lie ay, oh, to lie ay
John Kanaka-naka too lie ay

[Daniel]

John John John, John John-bara Ann

[alistarr*]

did you hear the one about john pulling a sleigh?

dear, dear, dear.

[Maaik]

I'm assuming it's spelled correctly on the lyric sheet of "Pork Soda", the album the song is from, since most sites on the internet have it spelled correctly, but I can't find my copy to check for sure.

It's totally not.  I types what I sees.

********************

I've been waiting for John to come and take me by the hand
Could these sensations make me feel the pleasures of a normal man?

[clare]

I thought I heard the old man say
John Kanaka-naka too lie ay
Today, today is a holiday
John Kanaka-naka too lie ay
Too lie ay, oh, to lie ay
John Kanaka-naka too lie ay

Bugger, now I have this as my ear-worm. Thanks wiliam.

Loving this thread and laughing my drink into my keyboard.

[Maaik]

JOHN IS A MASS OF INCANDESCENT GAS
A GIGANTIC NUCLEAR FURNACE
where HYDROGEN is BUILT into HEE-LEE-UM
at a TEMPERATURE of MILLIONS of DEGREES.

JOHN is hot, no JOHN is NOT
a place where we could LIVE
but HERE ON EARTH there'd be no life
WITHOUT THE LIGHT HE GIVES.

John is hot...

John is so hot that everything on him is a gas
Aluminum, Copper, Iron, and many others

John is large...

If John were hollow, a million Earth's would fit inside
And yet, he is only a middle size star

John is far away...

About 93,000,000 miles away
And that's why he looks so small

BUT EVEN WHEN HE'S OUT OF SIGHT
JOHN SHINES NIGHT AND DAY

[Doctor Bob]

Ha!  My three colleagues called John have all now been name-checked (sort of) in this thread- Henry (by me), Keyes (by william) and Nott (by Maaik).

(Amusing aside- John Nott tells me that his name is often mis-spelled as John Hott- which has also been name-checked, as it happens...)

[william]

Ha!  My three colleagues called John have all now been name-checked (sort of) in this thread- Henry (by me), Keyes (by william) and Nott (by Maaik).

(Amusing aside- John Nott tells me that his name is often mis-spelled as John Hott- which has also been name-checked, as it happens...)

Does John Keyes know that he doesn't get xmas?

[Doctor Bob]

I don't think so- he's currently somewhere near the North Pole in Norway, which might suggest he's still a believer!

I'll pass Mr Smith's observations on to him on his return.

[william]

Or maybe that's why he doesn't get christmas. Santa likes people to take him on trust. If you go poking around the North Pole trying to flush him out: BAM! No Christmas for you!

Damn Santa. He's like the Christmas Nazi or something.

[Ignatius]

What if Santa Claus is just a bear who lives in svalbard?

[Andrew_TSKS]

(Amusing aside- John Nott tells me that his name is often mis-spelled as John Hott- which has also been name-checked, as it happens...)

...and Johnny Hott was the drummer for House Of Freaks and Gutterball. Sayin.

Myke, sorry to implicate you then--I guess Claypool did do the misspelling on purpose. And Robert, I'd say he did so because the song is sung from the point of view of a redneck.

[william]

What if Santa Claus is just a bear who lives in svalbard?

Just a stranger on the bus....

[Doctor Bob]

What if Santa Claus is just a bear who lives in svalbard?

Just a stranger on the bus....

Standing in front of a boy...


Also, I've just realised that our host's full name has the same number of syllables and rhythm as 'Santa Claus'.

Oh yes, I had lots of fun.  http://www.nevada.edu/~blake/Christmas.songs.html


Andrew- I'll tell Mr Hott-or-Nott about his namesake.  Needless to say, he's not exactly bothered by being known as John Hott- I think this can only enhance his enjoyment.

[Bernard]

It does? Santa Claus sounds like BUM bum-bum and John Darnielle sounds like BUM bum-bum-BUM to me.

[YojimboMonkey]

The edit0r only uses 2 syllables when pronouncing his last name

[Ignatius]

Plus you know how the Irish are. They stress syllables in an inverse fashion.

[Doctor Bob]

Thought so- more of a rat-tat-tat than a BUM bum-bum-BUM, if memory serves.

x-post- ^^for Jim.  To be sure to be sure.

[theartlessmonster]

this bum discussion is making me smile in a very immature kind of way.

at what point do you think children stop saying "bum" transition to "but" then to "ass" ?

i'd venture to say about 5 - 7 you go from bum to but then from 7 - 10 you refer to it as your ass.  i dunno though.

[Ignatius]

Fat bottomed John, you make the rockin' world go 'round.

[alistarr*]

hey hey, my my
santa claus will never die

[Maaik]

John Darnielle sounds like BUM

[Doctor Bob]

at what point do you think children stop saying "bum" transition to "but" then to "ass" ?

i'd venture to say about 5 - 7 you go from bum to but then from 7 - 10 you refer to it as your ass.  i dunno though.

The sequence for me was 'bottom' (or 'botty') to 'bum' to 'ass'- 'but(t)' isn't really in use here.  I should note that, though not exclusive, I tend to reserve 'ass' for sexual contexts.

We also use 'behind' and 'hole' (and 'Swiss', as a stand-in for 'hole' when politeness dictates- as in, "Ask my Swiss!"), depending on context/crudity.

[Andrew_TSKS]

I never heard anyone use the word "bum" to refer to their ass until I was in high school and Mike Myers started doing that skit on SNL where his name was Simon and he liked to do drawerings. "Were you lookin at my BUM?" I knew what he meant, but I'd never heard it before.