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657247 Posts in 9253 Topics by 3396 Members Latest Member: - vlozan86 Most online today: 74 - most online ever: 494 (Jul 01, 2007, 02:59:53 PM)
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Author Topic: tactful way to friendster-message?  (Read 3879 times)
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omymai
Registered user

Posts: 252


« on: Feb 28, 2005, 12:24:22 AM »

I guess this goes for myspace and other places too, but I don't use anything except friendster. How do you message someone you think could be cool, and let them know without sounding creepy/terribly awkward that you're interested in befriending them, if not also more? And of course my testimonials are all nonsensical inside jokes, making me seem like perhaps the weirdo that I am. (I'd rather they learn about that stuff *after* they get to know me a little more :-P)

I've had good and bad experiences with my usual tactic of "you seem interesting". Granted the bad experiences are typically from when I come home drunk at night and log in. Oops.

Any tips/wonderful or terrible stories?
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boganlux
Registered user

Posts: 1149


« Reply #1 on: Feb 28, 2005, 11:57:54 AM »

I just myspaced messaged this girl the other day. I talked about how awesome the Silver Jews are and how I was glad I wasn't the only person in town to like them. She messaged me back and we chatted online so she can't think I'm a total creepy weirdo.
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dieblucasdie
Registered user

Posts: 24493


« Reply #2 on: Feb 28, 2005, 12:31:45 PM »

Haha, yeah, my gf gets hilariously creepy myspace messages all the time.

"Ur cute.  Wanna chat?"

Damn, how can I compete with that?
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terror firma
Registered user

Posts: 215


« Reply #3 on: Feb 28, 2005, 12:56:31 PM »

well don't ask if they wanna chat and befriend you; that's weird. you wouldn't go up to someone at a party and say "hey you seem interesting. wanna chat?" you'd make some awkward joke or observation.

just make a bad joke about something in their profile, or ask them a question about one of the books they like, etc.
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nati1107
Registered user

Posts: 851


« Reply #4 on: Feb 28, 2005, 04:13:30 PM »

i get creepy messages all the time, but the other day this canadian girl messaged me and she said she was new to town, and that she was looking for friends, and i actually met her, and she is nice.  
once i got this message from a frat boy looking dude, and he was like: are those all local bands that you listen to? because ive never heard any of them....  Shocked
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El_Josharino
Registered user

Posts: 7483


« Reply #5 on: Feb 28, 2005, 05:49:10 PM »

I virtually never initiate contact with strangers, so I'm not sure I'm a good advisor on the matter, but I've had people send me messages on myspace and I'm more willing to return contact if they mention something specific that interested them.  For example, one girl commented that she thought my sandwich costume in one of my pictures was hilarious and whatnot, and I found myself more willing to add her to my list than I would have been otherwise.
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crystalcakes
Registered user

Posts: 2005


« Reply #6 on: Feb 28, 2005, 11:55:39 PM »

oh lord.  where to start.  

friendster messages. i am constantly getting strangers that don't live anywhere near me saying weird things like "wanna play chess tomorrow, i could come over." and "i want more online friends in brooklyn".

that last one creeps me because if you live in brooklyn and you want more friends, why would you only want them to be online?  i don't have time for that.  

i also got one that mentioned diamonds and the guy was like 19.  so, random doesn't seem to work.  

but i have a friend who is still with a guy who friendster messaged her and it's been at least a year and a half or so at this point.  and he is rad.  

so it must work sometimes.  

(also, i have that i am IN A RELATIONSHIP and pics of my dude in my profile- some people can't take a hint)
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dieblucasdie
Registered user

Posts: 24493


« Reply #7 on: Mar 01, 2005, 11:18:44 AM »

u seem kewl.  Want 2 chat?
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omymai
Registered user

Posts: 252


« Reply #8 on: Mar 01, 2005, 12:37:06 PM »

Quote from: "dieblucasdie"
u seem kewl.  Want 2 chat?


Haha, my favorite one I've ever gotten was
"hey cutie, wanna hook up?"
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El_Josharino
Registered user

Posts: 7483


« Reply #9 on: Mar 01, 2005, 05:53:47 PM »

One time on my livejournal I got some weird comment from some strange chick talking about my beard and wanting me to answer questions about her.  I was all like "what the heck?"
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milly balgeary
Registered user

Posts: 11512


« Reply #10 on: Mar 01, 2005, 06:44:45 PM »

just write something dumb because most people think they are smart and if you write something dumb you are not threatening their sense of superiority.
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Chet
Registered user

Posts: 3629


« Reply #11 on: Mar 02, 2005, 10:19:54 PM »

Stalkers.
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boganlux
Registered user

Posts: 1149


« Reply #12 on: Mar 02, 2005, 10:28:26 PM »

I think the secret is that no matter how carefully you craft that first message to be sound smooth, genial, friendly, funny and non-threatening eventually you will betray your true nature. You can't fake social grace for long. So what I'm saying is if you're doomed, you're doomed.
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elpollodiablo
Registered user

Posts: 32624


« Reply #13 on: Mar 04, 2005, 02:38:35 AM »

No offense or anything, but people that strive for contact beyond public forums like these sort of creep me out. I mean... I don't know what I mean. But this is a lot less creepy to me than just initiating conversations with complete strangers. At least with forums, it's all public, and you can ignore the people that you decide are totally whacked. Right? Right? You guys? Am I right? Msg me bck!!1
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SPACERACE
Registered user

Posts: 12155


« Reply #14 on: Mar 04, 2005, 10:42:40 AM »

I once had a girl PM me on OKCupid (they tricked me into signing up, stfu) telling me I was interesting, after seeing my completely fucked up, ridiculous fake profile.

And since I said I was 90 years old, every once in a while, I get these e-mails from OKcupid with the newest personals from 60 year old women. Kinda creepy.
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crystalcakes
Registered user

Posts: 2005


« Reply #15 on: Mar 04, 2005, 10:32:32 PM »

Quote from: "elpollodiablo"
No offense or anything, but people that strive for contact beyond public forums like these sort of creep me out. I mean... I don't know what I mean. But this is a lot less creepy to me than just initiating conversations with complete strangers. At least with forums, it's all public, and you can ignore the people that you decide are totally whacked. Right? Right? You guys? Am I right? Msg me bck!!1


that was truly hilarious.  

i used to agree with you but then i wrote this article http://www.dailygusto.com/arts/august/dating-080803.html and changed my mind a lot.
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omymai
Registered user

Posts: 252


« Reply #16 on: Mar 05, 2005, 04:48:46 PM »

Ok, so after taking a quick survey amongst my male friends, it seems that most of the guys would love if girls friendster messaged them.
Granted, they've got some really horrible profile pictures and don't get out much. Don't get me wrong, I love these guys, but oh man.

Here is a small sample.

or
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JamesSchneider
Registered user

Posts: 1689


« Reply #17 on: Mar 05, 2005, 06:34:46 PM »




He's my new best friend. Let him know.
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dieblucasdie
Registered user

Posts: 24493


« Reply #18 on: Mar 05, 2005, 07:27:24 PM »

OK, There's a lot of low cards in that hand...
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milly balgeary
Registered user

Posts: 11512


« Reply #19 on: Mar 06, 2005, 05:42:42 PM »

Nice. the thing is though, i think what you write doesn't matter. its what MOOD the other person is in.
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