POLLO FUCKING HATES HALO and other videogame talk

[YojimboMonkey]

I'm having one of my periodical existential crises vis-a-vis vidja games right now. I'll turn on the Xbox, pop in Fallout or GTA or CoD or something and play for 30 or 40 minutes, all the while unable to shake the nagging sensation of pointlessness until I get well and truly bored and turn it off.

Then you should probably download Super Meat Boy and learn to enjoy games again

[davy]

I've enjoyed listening to the talk surrounding Super Meat Boy, but that shit looks way too challenging for me.

The only two games I've played in the past 6 months are Tecmo Bowl and Trials HD, both of them Xbox arcade games. And I haven't played them very much.

Looking forward to picking up Arkham Asylum soon, in preparation for the sequel, which looks beyond awesome.

[YojimboMonkey]

It is too challenging for you.  It will crush you and your will to live.  UTTERLY.

I'm on the final boss

[elpollodiablo]

Yeah I kinda fucking hate games like that, though. The twitchy, instant death kind where you make incremental progress after a huge amount of effort? No thanks. Plus I couldn't download it if I wanted to. My Xbox is forever banned.

[YojimboMonkey]

Yeah I kinda fucking hate games like that, though. The twitchy, instant death kind where you make incremental progress after a huge amount of effort? No thanks.

It's like, there are words there, I know all the words, but they don't make sense when you put them together that way

[jm]

I couldn't download it if I wanted to. My Xbox is forever banned.

???

[Dick]

Man, I'll tell you what.  I bought Just Cause 2 during the Steam Sale.

All the characters are one dimensional, the acting is bad, the writing is terrible, the setting is contrived and borderline offensive, the plot and main character are so hackneyed it's a little breathtaking, even by video game standards. 

And it is one of the best god damn games I have played in a long time.

Here is why.  My average play time in this game goes something like this:

I start out, I walk towards a beach, steal a speedboat, ride it around a gorgeous little sound.  A government patrol boat comes into view, I speed up and head straight toward it.  At the last second I jump out of the boat and pull my parachute, watching from 50 or so feet up as my speedboat and the government patrol boat are consumed by a large explosion.  Some other government vessels respond to the scene of the emergency.  I pepper them with assault rifle fire, twisting serenely in the breeze above them.  Enough people die that the military calls in an attack helicopter.  I grapple onto it, open the door, beat the shit out of the pilot and take control of the helicopter.  I fly the helicopter around for a bit, find an oil pipeline, destroy it.  Large explosion.  A fighter jet strafes my helicopter and it gets destroyed so I bail out, parachute into a nearby army base, take out some dudes and use a conveniently-placed AA gun to take down the jet.  Large explosion.  Then I get in a spare tank, drive to the closest freeway, graple hook an old man off of his motorcycle, and head for the jungle to let things cool off.

[jm]

That sounds great.

[alistarr*]

i rememeber meekwarrior being really excited about that game back when i still recognised the sound of his low-bitrate voice coming through an xbox live headset. i wonder what happened to that man.

[jebreject]

They made a sequel to that fucking game?

[Dick]

Jeb.  Jeb you don't understand.

Grappling hooks and parachutes.

[Dick]

*large explosion*

[FreddyKnuckles]

I pirated it a while back and uninstalled it a couple days later.

[silentsigh89]

I finished Fable 3. I loved it, for the most part, but I didn't really WIN. I survived, I beat it, but I LOST. as a result, I can't have the super fun run-around-and-get-rich part of the game.On the one hand, this makes it the first game I have ever considered re-playing. On the other? Man. It makes me feel annoyed! And useless! And like a failure.

[FreddyKnuckles]

1. The run around get rich part is fun for about 6 minutes.
2.  There should be no side quests/stones unturned when you enter final mission.

[silentsigh89]

I didn't even have time to have a family!! I know I fucked up, but sometimes I worry that waiting to get on the boat or whatever will ruin everything else! This is part of why I am not very good at video games. When a character says, "We have to hurry!" I get really stressed out that I will be late. I know that's not really how they work, but without some xanax in me, I just can't keep someone waiting.

In Fable II after I brought back my dog instead of everyone that had been killed, I had fun going around and fixing my reputations through quests and such. I reconnected with my husband! I killed more bad guys without so much pressure. 

[Good Intentions]

It's because Fable III fucks you over in the final act. It's not your fault: it does a 'gotcha!' dick move where suddenly all the time you thought you had gets ripped out of your trembling hands.

[FreddyKnuckles]

Ooh I kind of like that

[silentsigh89]

I had so many good investments!

Next time, I'll be ready. Richest person in Albion!

[dieblucasdie]

Ooh I kind of like that

The wife was watching me play Sonic 2 (yeah...) last night, and I had died 5 times in a row trying to make a simple jump-and-grab on Wing Fortress, and I was explaining to her about how your modern video game isn't dickish enough; you shouldn't get rewarded just for playing a game for 12.5 hours.  You should have to have that shit memorized.  You should have to count yourself a little pathetic for having finished the game. 

Then again FK and I went to Catholic school

edit:  FYI I made the jump-and-grab right away after switching from the analog stick to the d-pad.  Muscle memory is a bitch!

[lucky strike]

who cares sonic is stupid because the graphics suck

[davy]

you're stupid and your graphics suck

[alistarr*]

Ooh I kind of like that

The wife was watching me play Sonic 2 (yeah...) last night, and I had died 5 times in a row trying to make a simple jump-and-grab on Wing Fortress, and I was explaining to her about how your modern video game isn't dickish enough; you shouldn't get rewarded just for playing a game for 12.5 hours.  You should have to have that shit memorized.  You should have to count yourself a little pathetic for having finished the game. 

Then again FK and I went to Catholic school

edit:  FYI I made the jump-and-grab right away after switching from the analog stick to the d-pad.  Muscle memory is a bitch!

they still make those kinds of videogames, just fewer people buy them than buy the easy games.

you should play:

street fighter 4
mushihimesama futari ver 1.5
probably that super meat boy game all these chaps love
more sonic 2 practice



two months until 3DS time - i'm so very going to spend that whole weekend unnecessarily playing street fighter 4 on a tiny screen with a D-pad. i guess at least my girl will be happy she can use the TV for a change.

[FreddyKnuckles]

There's nothing worse than street fighter

[jm]

tasteful edit!