no more certain than I think I might have been before: uncertainty, con't.

[coldforge]

Just had a friend from meditation reach out to me because he was having a particularly dark night and thought I could give him a little bit of dharma. I hope I did a good job. I'm at a point in my life where pretty much everything I do feels like one degree or another of vanitas aside from spiritual development.

[Thermofusion]

I can't find the annoyed thread but I'm awake at 4 AM because I'm constipated and have a headache. TMI? It is a particularly dark night

[monkeypants]

So, this is kinda odd for me.  I'm not exactly the most active poster here, and I've rarely (ever?) posted much that was personal, but I kinda need to vent so why not let fly on a semi-anonymous message board?  I was just accepted into grad school.  I'm 41 years old and have been at my current job (the only "real" job I've ever had) for almost 16 years.  Hell, I've been in the same *apartment* for almost 12 years.   Obviously, I'm okay with stability.  And now I'm turning my entire life upside down.  New field, new state, new everything.  This is major, but I've been really unhappy for a lot of different reasons lately and just really felt I needed to make some changes.  My anxiety level has been completely batshit since the beginning of the year.  I figure in 5 to 10 years I'll look back and declare this to be either the smartest think I ever did for myself or the biggest mistake I ever made.  I don't think there's going to be much in-between.   Mid-life crisis, ahoy!

[El_Josharino]

I think it's a good move. I once woke up, decided to quit my job that day and then just move to a different city. Granted, I didn't move far, but still was significant for me at the time. Was one of the best things I've ever done.

And what's life without the possibility of absolute failure anyway, right?

[Dick]

Word, Josh.

If you're stuck in a situation that makes you unhappy, taking steps to change it is never really a bad idea.  Even if it doesn't work out quite as you want, at least it's something fucking different?  There are no end of life awards for 'sticking with it' and 'being a trooper'.

[C of heartbreak]

While I agree with the sentiment above, I've also noticed that a lot of the time when people think they can solve their problems of general malaise with a change of scenery, they often end up just as unhappy in the new location. So while changing your situation is a great and very important ritual in starting over, it's also important to identify the reasons why you are actually unhappy, many of which probably don't have a lot to do with where you are, and address those.

[monkeypants]

While I agree with the sentiment above, I've also noticed that a lot of the time when people think they can solve their problems of general malaise with a change of scenery, they often end up just as unhappy in the new location. So while changing your situation is a great and very important ritual in starting over, it's also important to identify the reasons why you are actually unhappy, many of which probably don't have a lot to do with where you are, and address those.

Yes.  This has been on my mind a *lot* through the whole process, and I think it's at the root of much of my anxiety.  I do genuinely think that much of my current unease does relate to my job, living situation, etc., and overall I think that change is the right thing for me at this juncture, but much of my unhappiness is certainly with myself, and I'm trying to work on that too, but it's much more difficult to pinpoint, let alone resolve.

[Nick Ink]

I'm going back to Moscow on Saturday, for two weeks of teacher training. That is, I'm training teachers. I understand it's quite cold there. So I bought a new hat today. I would rather stay here, with my girls, but I expect I'll enjoy it once I'm there. It's going to be busy.

[coldforge]

While I agree with the sentiment above, I've also noticed that a lot of the time when people think they can solve their problems of general malaise with a change of scenery, they often end up just as unhappy in the new location. So while changing your situation is a great and very important ritual in starting over, it's also important to identify the reasons why you are actually unhappy, many of which probably don't have a lot to do with where you are, and address those.

I should mention here, the going line in my circles when this question comes up is: the problem with moving is that wherever you go, you bring yourself with you.

[Nick Ink]

I'm going back to Moscow on Saturday, for two weeks of teacher training. That is, I'm training teachers. I understand it's quite cold there. So I bought a new hat today. I would rather stay here, with my girls, but I expect I'll enjoy it once I'm there. It's going to be busy.

Right, I'm off at 5.30 tomorrow morning, it's minus 28 there, last time out my boss got bitten on the arse by one of Moscow's street dogs and I have only half an idea what I'm supposed to be doing when I get there.

Nobody has replied to this yet, and look, I don't want to rushya but I really mostgo.

[coldforge]

Come on, Nick. Quit Stalin.

[fishjim]

 

[Anne the Man]

Come on fishjim, be more Leninent.

[fishjim]

I'm just Putin you on, CF.

[clare]

Make sure your hands don't drop off, Yuri.

[Ashley]

I just had a really awful experience at a party with a bunch of people I don't know very well, I'm pretty sure I made the best of it but man it's hard not to be super anxious about it.  Someone got sick, and everyone is okay but it was just really unfortunate the way people handled it. 

[FreddyKnuckles]

So a dude posted on the neighbor hood listserv that he and his girlfriend were robbed at gunpoint about 30 feet from my front door.  Three 16-20 year old african american men in ski masks with semi automatic handguns at 11pm on a thursday.  Demanded their smartphones, wallet, briefcase, and purse.  He said the seemed very calm and even waved on cars that pulled up to the intersection they were at with their guns.  Police said, 'that sucks'.  So I made the mistake of checking the crime map and there have been 10 robberies with guns within 1000 feet of my apartment in the last year and another 13 robberies without a gun.  Did I mention that I live less than 1/3 mile from the nation's capitol?  fuck those dudes for making people afraid to go out!  Also fuck the DC city government. 

[YojimboMonkey]

edit: Fuck this isn't an uncertain post, this is a pissy post, where is the I am a pissy bitch thread? Fuckit I'll make one

[hannah]

Is it horribly, terribly awful of me to back out of a grad student conference? The issue here is mostly money—namely, a $300 flight I don't think my department will be able to reimburse me for. If I had the time, I might scrounge around for funds, but time is also an issue.

And I am uncertain about this paper I am writing, but that's not unusual.

[elpollodiablo]

Absolutely not!

[fishjim]

No No No !

STAY HOME

[elpollodiablo]

My department doesn't even reimburse for grad student conferences.

[Anne the Man]

Just emailed Dossie Easton, co-author of The Ethical Slut, asking if I could access her thesis. I told her about my book and all. Fucking love the internet age enabling me to do this, but eek. I clicked the send button and felt like I'd been doused in cold water. We shall see.

[mixed cats]

the looming future keeps me up at night.

[Greg Nog]

Have you thought about buying a better loom?