An brusque abode for pathogens (Last Plane to the Doctor's Office)

[clare]

Nope. You trying to make  a wee joke, FK?

[FreddyKnuckles]

The joke did cross my mind.  I get two or three debilitating migraines a year, which makes me nervous considering my dad's history with headaches/strokes. I got my first one at 13 after a morning of looking at cheek swabs through a microscope. Pain was so intense that I puked in the school secretary's trash bin while I was waiting for my mom to get me.

Lie down in a dark room is about the only advice I can give

[auto-da-fey]

ugh. my lady (presumably, since she just had the precise experience) gave me this crappy two-day bug. I slept ten hours last night, another four in a nap, and now I'm headed to bed at 11, having felt queasy-to-nauseous all day long and had many unpleasant stomach experiences without ever quite hurling.

this is the downside of my heavy-commuting, epic-(but few)-workdays lifestyle: dreading tomorrow like a motherfucker, but  for various reasons can't cancel unless it becomes a real emergency.

[peacocks]

I've never heard the term "jacked up" used for pregnant and not for lack of hearing it—usually I've heard it used to mean "fucked up" whether as in drugs or something being messed up.

Liz Lemon uses it to say pregnant on 30 rock, so now I use it to say pregnant on the internet. "Yep, some dude jacked me and now his sperm is growing in my stomach"

[auto-da-fey]

many unpleasant stomach experiences without ever quite hurling.

scratch that: epic hurl. I am not certain this is true, but I think that's the first time I've puked from anything but drinking too much in many, many years.

I did not enjoy it, but there is a unique catharsis in the experience. and hopefully it marks the end and not the start of a phase in this stomach bug's life.

[jess]

I've never heard the term "jacked up" used for pregnant and not for lack of hearing it—usually I've heard it used to mean "fucked up" whether as in drugs or something being messed up.

Liz Lemon uses it to say pregnant on 30 rock, so now I use it to say pregnant on the internet. "Yep, some dude jacked me and now his sperm is growing in my stomach"

Wouldn't that mean "fucked" in that context though? Otherwise the rest of the statement would be redundant/unnecessary. Or maybe more specifically, "came inside of," in reference to the term "jacked off."

[peacocks]

yeah, I guess. Jacked up could still = knocked up.

ADF! Sorry about your recent hurling! Stomach bugs are the w o r s t, get well soon.

[Greg Nog]

many unpleasant stomach experiences without ever quite hurling.

scratch that: epic hurl. I am not certain this is true, but I think that's the first time I've puked from anything but drinking too much in many, many years.

I did not enjoy it, but there is a unique catharsis in the experience. and hopefully it marks the end and not the start of a phase in this stomach bug's life.

Huh!  I wonder if my lady and her roommate had the same bug.  Sounds similar to their experiences this week.

[auto-da-fey]

I basically didn't eat for a day after that post, and now, one further day down the line, am feeling alright. good luck to the lady!

[auto-da-fey]

(and roommate)

[dumbfish]

You people getting sick need to quit frenching trash cans.

[peacocks]

but it tastes so sweet

[auto-da-fey]

has anyone here ever shaved their tongue?

all morning i've been bothered by what feels like a small hair caught in my throat, but upon some inspection, my tongue seems to have grown a single short, dark hair, dead center in the middle on the side-to-side axis and about halfway down on the mouth-to-throat axis.

now i'm kind of obsessed with it, and i can't stop swallowing and moving my tongue around. i fear this will lead to madness if i don't get rid of the thing, but plucking sounds awful. so does shaving, really, but . . . do people do that?

[auto-da-fey]

huh, well this guy shaved his, but he's, in his own words, "one crazy dude." this young woman, on the other hand, considers it her biggest regret.

i'm torn.

[peacocks]

http://www.health.uab.edu/17889/

The cause of hairy tongue is sometimes a result of antibiotic therapy (which can cause an overgrowth of bacteria in the mouth), excessive use of certain mouthwashes, decreased saliva flow, or lack of adequate oral hygiene. Many people with this condition are heavy smokers, and alcohol may be a contributing factor. For example, when you consume too much alcohol, you tend to become dehydrated, which decreases the amount of saliva in your mouth, which helps keep bacteria in check. Some people also complain of a gagging sensation or a bad taste in their mouth.

Hairy tongue is not serious, and it usually clears after discontinuing use of whatever substance is causing the problem. UAB dentists suggest you make an appointment with your dentist as soon as possible to help determine the cause of your hairy tongue and how best to prevent its recurrence. You can remove the hair-like growths by brushing gently with a toothbrush.

[YojimboMonkey]

has anyone here ever shaved their tongue?

Well, I often use "shaving my tongue" as a euphemism for brushing my teeth, especially after a night of drinking.  But literally, no

[auto-da-fey]

hmm, I tried that . . . well, not gently, I kind of sawed at it with a toothbrush, but to no avail. maybe I'll brush my teeth five more times today and see.

the weird thing is, I haven't even been drinking much lately (and I don't smoke . . . well, a doob now and then, but no cigs), and I have fairly impeccable oral hygiene. guess I'll hold off on the shaving for now, though.

(x-posted to peacocks)

[peacocks]

yeah I wouldn't shave it since it seems like it isn't actually hair but a bacterial growth that could be dislodged with persistant yet gentle scrubbing. It's almost like you are growing algae or moss in your mouth! My friend tried to grow some moss once. You put some beer and some bread in a blender and then you smooth the substance over a rock and wait to see what happens. I THINK it worked, but it looked mostly modly last time I was there.

[FreddyKnuckles]

I think what adf is describing is wildly different from what is being described in that health article.  That article describes white fuzzies on the tongue that are actually bacteria.  ADF says he's got like, an actual hair sticking out of his tongue

[peacocks]

the article does say the hairs can turn black. I dunno. I mean, do tongues have follicles? I thought your tongue was an organ, not part of the epidermis. I know very little about anatomy. Where's our RN Kadie?

[Greg Nog]

Plucking it seems safer than shaving it.  Plus, if you pull on it, maybe it'll emerge as like a two-foot long hair that becomes steadily thicker as it slides out, until at the end it's fully half the diameter of a pinky finger.  That would be a pretty good beginning to a Cronenberg-type movie.

[auto-da-fey]

the only problem being, I'd rather have the Cronenberg movie happen in someone else's mouth. like James Woods or something.

but yeah, pretty sure this is a real hair, though I'll defer to more informed sources on the biology of it all. coping right now by drinking coconut water, holding it in my mouth before swallowing, and trying to convince myself it's softening the hair and I won't even feel it soon.

[davy]

Dang, that's pretty weird, adf.

[jess]

If it is a real hair, that is seriously bizarre. You should go get it checked out, since your dentist or doctor will probably take photos of it and put it in a medical journal or something, and hey, who doesn't want that... I bet someone will look at it for free for that reason alone.

[nonotyet]

and we can all say "Hey we knew him when he was a super pervy dude on the internet!"