Moon Bases Not Moon Lassos: New LOLConservatives Thread

[dieblucasdie]

You're already failing Anne

[Ashley]

I don't want people to act interested in me.  I'll just say things and assume they want to know.  I'm so great, of course they want to know.  People like confidence, yeah? That'll show confidence.

[jebreject]

I like the idea that it's more important to say something about yourself than to be legitimately interested in the other person

[Good Intentions]

I'm sorry, what did you say, jeb? It didn't seem important enough, since it didn't say anything about me.

[elpollodiablo]

Gotta peacock yo


 
Didn't Andrew read that dude's book?

[Greg Nog]

“The problem with conservatives on dating: we’re too uptight!” he said. “Liberals have the reputation for being fun, we have to go on the date and have fun without smoking pot.”

That must suck!  I can't even remember the last time I wasn't stoned out of my mind, waxing rhapsodic about welfare and abortions.

[coldforge]

I was just thinking about how sexy it would be to kiss you, Madame Speaker

[Anne the Man]

Maybe I should just tattoo all relevant information about me on my face. That'll show conviction.

1. I believe in individual responsibility.
2. Women's rights are important, but I'm not a feminist. Ladies, please remember your femininity, and keep your clothes on.
3. I'm a bit of a rebel at heart.
4. I take everything with a healthy dose of skepticism, so I try avoid the mindless liberal media.
5. You are exactly my brand of heroin.

[Babar]

Shortly afterwards, Elise asked a slick-haired Republican to describe his perfect girl. His answer: 5”7, good hair, nice skin, and “works for FOX News.”

[C of heartbreak]

Can we organize an LPTJ trip to CPAC next time? We can all wear topsiders.

[dieblucasdie]

Didn't the Paul campaign bus in a bunch of people to vote for him in the straw poll last year? Our course is clear

[Babar]

Fox News just axed Freedom Watch today. It's sad but still a bit encouraging that Fox thought the message of freedom was getting a little out of hand. Farewell Judge Napolitano, you're a badass.

[elpollodiablo]

Okay kid you are fucking trolling unquestionably now

[Antero]

+1.

[dieblucasdie]

Seriously guys, we need to go to this shit. Babar, tell me about how the free market will solve poverty again; I want to get my lines right

[cold before sunrise]

can it, chicken et al. 

i found this little gem and do get how people could have their reservations about ron paul but the state of political affairs is becoming such a concern that he could privately be a cannibal and it wouldn't make me change my mind, i'd rally for anybody defending what's important. a lack of ethics in government isn't new but the way they've extending themselves into our personal lives is unacceptable. monsanto lobbyists were involved in pushing through bill c-36 here in canada, our version of the american patriot act, that's basically a precendent in abolishing rule of law. it was the first time in our history, ever, that the law was changed to protect the government from the people since before now we've become comfortable with our laws (that wars were fought over and people gave their lives to establish) made to protect the people from the powers that be. can we agree that nobody wants to live in a state of totalitarianism?

[dieblucasdie]

I know I'm fing-t-t here, but what on God's green Earth does C-36 have to do with Monsanto? Zah? Does it involve lesbian blood rituals? Explode my mind with some truthbombs plz.

[Thermofusion]

the fuck is C-36? some canadian asshole discover a new isotope of carbon?

[Ignatius]

I think it's a kind of plane?

[cold before sunrise]

the old bill c-6, against natural health products. i don't know why monsanto was involved, what made them so interested, am particularly disturbed by what the hell the mascot for evil has to do with this.

[Antero]

That sounds a lot more like something Monsanto would be involved in than the PATRIOT Act.

[cold before sunrise]

it used to be bill c-52 and something else before that, they've been trying to pass this for a long time with a shit-ton of revolt. now people have been protesting for such a long time (what? like 8 years or something) that they just kept pressing and changing minor details and not publishing anything about it in the media AT ALL until finally they passed it with no fanfare and nobody noticed that our trespass rights that took so long (hundreds of years) to be established suddenly vanished. we think of ourselves as the free world but that is being tossed quite sharply. it's the same as the patriot act because it abolishes the right of trespass, meaning the government can disturb your private space and there's nothing you can do about it. we are going back to the dark ages and people are like "ron paul's name was on a racist newletter 20 years ago so he's not a perfectly suitable candidate to defend our liberties." GO EFF YOURSELF WITH A PINECONE! he's all we had.

[elpollodiablo]

lol @ fing-t-t

[cold before sunrise]

i'd pay to watch your head cut off.

[elpollodiablo]

Also I sure hope the market solves the alcohol problems at Pine Ridge Reservation before everyone dies. It's done a somewhat imperfect job so far. It'd be a shame if all those infants with fetal alcohol syndrome didn't live long enough to exercise their right of perfect consumption.