relationship question

[jordanmichael]

so my best friend is going out with this girl i have been hung up on for 4-5 years. i introduced them, they both new my feelings, they are now dating. they are on the verge of breaking up. how do i act like i am not happy at something that is causing them so much pain? (yes, i know i am a douchebag for being happy for this, but the story goes a lot deeper than i explained)

[FreddyKnuckles]

um.

I would avoid in gleefull pelvic thrusts or arm pumps.

and don't say "sweet, you guys are breaking up!"
or
"Awesome!  I'm so glad that you guys are breaking up!"
or
"Great!  Now the girl I'm in love with will probably go date some really big douchebag instead of my good friend but still probably won't have feelings for me!"

[Andrew_TSKS]

hahaha yeah, just kinda keep your relief to yourself. it's ok to feel that way, but your best friend will only feel worse if he knows of your feelings.

the girl though... you gotta get over her. like NOW.

[jordanmichael]

hahaha yeah, just kinda keep your relief to yourself. it's ok to feel that way, but your best friend will only feel worse if he knows of your feelings.

the girl though... you gotta get over her. like NOW.

thanks

[FreddyKnuckles]

I'm a lazy bastard in all aspects of my life, so don't take this the wrong way, but, my thoughts:

and girl (or guy or whatever) that you have to work your ass off (or get all bent out of shape about) for probably isn' t worth it.

There are exceptions, but if she don't dig you right off, she probably won't ever, and you should let it go.

for example:

There was this really fucking hot chick in my school, and guys used to (and still do) go fucking ape over this girl.  Because she's not snooty about her hotness and is really amiable and approachable.  Anyway, to make a long story short:  I started dating her and damn near lost like 5 of my closest friends over it.  Worth it?  hardly.  

I guess the point of that story is: "bros before hoes" man.  Forget the girl and console your buddy.

[jordanmichael]

I'm a lazy bastard in all aspects of my life, so don't take this the wrong way, but, my thoughts:

and girl (or guy or whatever) that you have to work your ass off (or get all bent out of shape about) for probably isn' t worth it.

There are exceptions, but if she don't dig you right off, she probably won't ever, and you should let it go.

for example:

There was this really fucking hot chick in my school, and guys used to (and still do) go fucking ape over this girl.  Because she's not snooty about her hotness and is really amiable and approachable.  Anyway, to make a long story short:  I started dating her and damn near lost like 5 of my closest friends over it.  Worth it?  hardly.  

I guess the point of that story is: "bros before hoes" man.  Forget the girl and console your buddy.

wow. that was the most heartfelt thing i've read you post. thank you.

see the situation is a little different. this girl (danielle) was my first friend, ever. the guy (dan) was my second friend. we used to hang out all the time and were really inseparable. hung out just the three of us so often. in december, actually about 4 days after my birthday, they started dating and completely shut me out. i started talking to dan for the first time in the past few monthes this week, which is the only reason i found out they were having problems.

i guess my relationship with dan is a lot different. dan is the "attractive one", and is also a musician. i am not considered as attractive and i write. the fact that he has one of those performance talents i guess adds to people's attraction to him. people can't really get together in groups and watch me write. i have always had this horrible jealousy issue with him. i don't want to sound whiney, but i have a good amount of reason. i have had horrible luck with girls, and females just fawn over him. i've never been able to find someone and get them attracted to me. it was always just a walk into the relationship kinda deal. the first girl that i ever had a relationship with that started off as a friend turned out to be using me to get closer to him. she saw me as his best friend who spent a lot of time with him, and figured if she spent time with me she'd spend time with him. this was almost two years ago and i haven't been in a relationship since. i am not saying it is his fault, he has no control over this, but this has just added a lot of hostility. so yeah, a huge part of me does also want to see him suffer and feel like shit, and the rest of me hates that other part of me for feeling like that.

[FreddyKnuckles]

yeah, the best advice I can give you on how to get girls is to start playing the guitar.  Trust me, you don't even have to be that good.  My band started playing, and even though we were pretty sub-par, it got me more ass than a toilet seat.  Excuse the generalization here, but girls aren't as shallow as we are.  They are more attracted to our other faculties.  Trust me, I've dated girls waay out of my league.  Cling to the writing thing, use it to your advantage.  I have a friend that got so many girls just by saying these magical words "I write poetry, and I work at a daycare"

actually the best advice I can give you is confidence.  Just fricking go for it.  Sometimes the girl is so surprised that she just goes for it, and usually you're braveness gets rewarded.  (though the confidence thing only seems to work in sober situations, because everyone is confident when they're drunk.)  Always ask a girl out, don't be afraid.  Don't worry about getting shut down, it's better to get shut down 100 times and get one date
because if you don't ask you won't get any dates.
A good plan of attack:
Hit on the girl like crazy.  Be uncharacteristically flirtatious and be all touchy and shit.  She'll be taken aback, but just do something that will make her know that you want her.  Then, pretend like it never happened.  Just completely ignore her.  She'll be wondering "what the fuck was up with that? does he like me or not?"  But thats the point: Now she's thinking about you.  You've planted the seed and she'll be thinking about you, which is better than where you were before.

[dieblucasdie]

wow. that was the most heartfelt thing i've read you post. thank you.

Actually, this very thread illustrates FreddyKnuckles' way of getting girls.  Act like a snarky, drunken buffoon 364 days a year, then, just one day a year, bust out a moment of startling sincerity to melt their hearts.

And, um, don't take FreddyKnuckles' touchy-feely advice.  I'm not sayin' it don't work for him, but most girls will be creeped out.  Take my bit of advice:  The sooner you forget about trying to get a girl, the sooner you'll get one.  Most girls can intuitively sense that you're thinking about gettin' with 'em, no matter how nice you're being, and, unless you're like your guitar-playing friend, will be a little weirded out by it.

But get over this girl, man.  You're going to have to eventually, and it's not going to get easier.  In fact, it might be keeping you from other relationships.

[jordanmichael]

really, everyone, thanks for your advice. i am so bad with compliments and taking advice because i am so used to people being assholes. but seriously, i appreciate it.

[Andrew_TSKS]

also, i wanna mention that i played music for 8 or 9 years straight and it never got me the interest of one single girl. that myth about getting into bands for the girls is just that, a myth. if it works for you, it probably would have even if you hadn't started playing music.

[dieblucasdie]

also, i wanna mention that i played music for 8 or 9 years straight and it never got me the interest of one single girl. that myth about getting into bands for the girls is just that, a myth. if it works for you, it probably would have even if you hadn't started playing music.

You also have to remember that FreddyKnuckles is in Montana, where trendy-haired-boys-in-bands aren't a dime a dozen like in most big cities.  Not that *anything* trendy about Freddy's look.  Props where props are due.

[nati1107]

confidence is key.

also, arent you super young? - i think you have nothing to worry about!

forget the girl!  dry your eyes mate (and your friend's) - there's plenty more fish in the sea!

[FreddyKnuckles]

wow. that was the most heartfelt thing i've read you post. thank you.

And, um, don't take FreddyKnuckles' touchy-feely advice.  I'm not sayin' it don't work for him, but most girls will be creeped out.

again, this doesn't work in drunken situations.  The way I said it did sound pretty creepy though.

Of course, in college sober situations are few and far between.

so maybe discount that advice all together haha.

No yeah.  I definately thrive on low expectations.  If I actually do get off of my ass and do something nice to a girl.  It's like "whoa!  He must really like me"  even if what I did wasn't that thoughtful.

[FreddyKnuckles]

also, i wanna mention that i played music for 8 or 9 years straight and it never got me the interest of one single girl. that myth about getting into bands for the girls is just that, a myth. if it works for you, it probably would have even if you hadn't started playing music.

yeah. what dieblucasdie said.  I probably should've considered that Montana is quite different from the rest of the world.

also, it sort of goes back to the confidence thing.  After the show, when you're still kind of high on adrenaline, go start talking to the hottest girl that doesn't have some giant douche with her.

[Andrew_TSKS]

hah, i should try that.

[Chuck]

I guess the point of that story is: "bros before hoes" man.  Forget the girl and console your buddy.

Yeah dating your friend's ex's is real iffy. Even if they say they're cool with it they're probably not. I'd also say its about time to move on. If that's absolutely impossible, wait a good while at least before you do anything. If your buddy is dating someone else he can't really complain.

I'm going to join the playing guitar never got me any chicks camp. I neither wanted nor expected it to either so I'm not complaining about that. If you get more chicks from playing guitar it's probably because you think you will, which gives you a confidence boost, which is ultimately all you need to get "more ass than a toilet seat."

[FreddyKnuckles]

more than anything, I just wanted to say "more ass than a toilet seat"

[jordanmichael]

more than anything, I just wanted to say "more ass than a toilet seat"

that really is a great phrase.
"boom-shaka-laka"
i never liked it until the stephan hawking character said it on family guy.

[dieblucasdie]

more than anything, I just wanted to say "more ass than a toilet seat"

that really is a great phrase.
"boom-shaka-laka"
i never liked it until the stephan hawking character said it on family guy.

*Remembers the good ol' days of NBA Jam on the Sega Genesis*

[jordanmichael]

more than anything, I just wanted to say "more ass than a toilet seat"

that really is a great phrase.
"boom-shaka-laka"
i never liked it until the stephan hawking character said it on family guy.

*Remembers the good ol' days of NBA Jam on the Sega Genesis*

i miss sega genesis. does anyone know any good emulator sites i can find some games for it?

[FreddyKnuckles]

more than anything, I just wanted to say "more ass than a toilet seat"

that really is a great phrase.
"boom-shaka-laka"
i never liked it until the stephan hawking character said it on family guy.

*Remembers the good ol' days of NBA Jam on the Sega Genesis*

i miss sega genesis. does anyone know any good emulator sites i can find some games for it?

I don't really have anything to say.  I just wanted to embed the quotes further.

[jordanmichael]

more than anything, I just wanted to say "more ass than a toilet seat"

that really is a great phrase.
"boom-shaka-laka"
i never liked it until the stephan hawking character said it on family guy.

*Remembers the good ol' days of NBA Jam on the Sega Genesis*

i miss sega genesis. does anyone know any good emulator sites i can find some games for it?

I don't really have anything to say.  I just wanted to embed the quotes further.

i can understand that.

[Chuck]

more than anything, I just wanted to say "more ass than a toilet seat"

ditto

[boganlux]

more than anything, I just wanted to say "more ass than a toilet seat"

that really is a great phrase.
"boom-shaka-laka"
i never liked it until the stephan hawking character said it on family guy.

*Remembers the good ol' days of NBA Jam on the Sega Genesis*

i miss sega genesis. does anyone know any good emulator sites i can find some games for it?

I don't really have anything to say.  I just wanted to embed the quotes further.

i can understand that.

Is there any limit on embedding?

[nati1107]

more than anything, I just wanted to say "more ass than a toilet seat"

that really is a great phrase.
"boom-shaka-laka"
i never liked it until the stephan hawking character said it on family guy.

*Remembers the good ol' days of NBA Jam on the Sega Genesis*

i miss sega genesis. does anyone know any good emulator sites i can find some games for it?

I don't really have anything to say.  I just wanted to embed the quotes further.

i can understand that.

 

Is there any limit on embedding?

i dont know!