The quotable LPTJ

[Good Intentions]

Yeah, whatever caused you to say the homophobic/sexist thing, uh, The Femme Mentale thread is 1,000x worse.  So, uh, don't read it.

I don't get why you say that. I don't see what's so offensive about it.

[Good Intentions]

it's funny how this board suddenly sometimes feels like the front room in my parents house, about 9pm on christmas day, as everyone argues over who it was that insulted dad/grandpa/aunty helen and made him/her/them hide in the study in a huff, and just who exactly didn'y contribute enough to making dinner that mum slaved over for HOURS, while we're at it, and then you went and spilled wine on the best tablecloth too.

and then some other like minor annoyances from months back that you'd forgotten about get raised too, just for kicks.

makes sense, being as i am your father.

OK, this was funny.

[dumbfish]

When I was younger I once saw a chimp get raped by a man dressed as Mr. Peanut. The weirdest thing is the chimp was also dressed as Mr. Peanut.

I was originally strong against the chimp series, but this entry moved me in my special purpose.  Well done.

[MurkPlectrum]

Thank you, but it's a true story so I can't really take credit.

[MurkPlectrum]

OK, I embellished a few details.

[milly balgeary]

murk's an example of what time, thought, and regret get you.

NOTHING

[elpollodiablo]

Tattos are like those big wide pants and pacifiers you used to wear during your raving years, except that you can't take them off, ever.

[girl]

Stalking is almost always an unhealthy way to begin a marriage.

[SPACERACE]

but how will I find out what was making you sad back in january?

[Anne the Man]

And I think everyone's just given up on changing Illest Waffle.

Yep, we'll just hafta settle for yelling at him. And when did you compare women to cattle by th way? I remember getting really mad at that line in that usher song where Ludacris goes "if you hold the head steady, I'm gon' milk the cow"

[dieblucasdie]

And I think everyone's just given up on changing Illest Waffle.

Yep, we'll just hafta settle for yelling at him. And when did you compare women to cattle by th way? I remember getting really mad at that line in that usher song where Ludacris goes "if you hold the head steady, I'm gon' milk the cow"

haha I didn't compare womyn to cattle.  It's a joke/story one of my old professors tells.  He was teaching Julian Casablancas, and asked the class about Julian Casablancas's view of women.  A girl raised her hand and said, "Now, I'm not a feminist or anything, but when Julian Casablancas compared women to cattle, it kinda made me mad."

Oh, Catholic school.

I hope you know about the German philosopher/Strokes filter, or this is just gonna confuse you more.

[Anne the Man]

Ah good to know. And yes I do haha. Well maybe Julian Casablancas has compared women to cattle at some point

[MurkPlectrum]

I remember getting really mad at that line in that usher song where Ludacris goes "if you hold the head steady, I'm gon' milk the cow"

No, no, he says, "If you heard the Hold Steady, I'm gon' milk the cow." He's arguing with a young farmer about whose taste in indie-rock is the hippest. Whoever loses has to do the chores.

[Anne the Man]

Ahaha!

[alistarr*]

i don't get it. is it a pun on "herd"?

[Anne the Man]

Dunno. It made me laugh anyway cos it's silly

[alistarr*]

(sorry, i was trying to be clever. it was indeed funny. please ignore me and carry on as before.)

[alistarr*]

just another of those "wh..?" feelings the lptj posters are so good at inspiring...

OH MY GOD, THOSE ARE THE WORST!  

especially when in the dream, you find a bathroom, and you go to pee, and for some reason you can't, so you try really hard, then suddenly wake up realizing that you were about two seconds away from peeing the bed. THE WORST!

[Maaik]

DUDES I AM AT C OF HEARTBREAK'S HOUSE!

Out of context, seriously funny.

[RoyBiggins]

Why is this d@vY (doug at venerable Youngstown, surely) person responding as though he's posted in this thread before?  And why so familiar, given his low number of posts?  I'm just a simple caveman, and his friendly ways confuse me!

Oh, Unfrozen Caveman Dumbfish, I love you.

[Andrew_TSKS]

just another of those "wh..?" feelings the lptj posters are so good at inspiring...

OH MY GOD, THOSE ARE THE WORST!  

especially when in the dream, you find a bathroom, and you go to pee, and for some reason you can't, so you try really hard, then suddenly wake up realizing that you were about two seconds away from peeing the bed. THE WORST!

so, what, am i the only one who has those? is that what you're saying?

[dieblucasdie]

I've had dreams where I've pissed, and it's felt very very realistic, and then I wake up like OH FUCK, but I haven't pissed IRL, and am relieved.  It's very weird.

[Andrew_TSKS]

no offense to murk, but:

Well, How To Quote Foucault At Every Given Opportunity and Generally Act Like A Douchebag is two down in my stack.

that one was hilarious.

[MurkPlectrum]

no offense to murk, but:

Well, How To Quote Foucault At Every Given Opportunity and Generally Act Like A Douchebag is two down in my stack.

that one was hilarious.

Eat a dick, yo.

[alistarr*]

just another of those "wh..?" feelings the lptj posters are so good at inspiring...

OH MY GOD, THOSE ARE THE WORST!  

especially when in the dream, you find a bathroom, and you go to pee, and for some reason you can't, so you try really hard, then suddenly wake up realizing that you were about two seconds away from peeing the bed. THE WORST!

so, what, am i the only one who has those? is that what you're saying?

i'm sure other people do the same thing, i just found myself utterly surprised by the whole sentence. it left me unable to function for a couple of moments, in a hilarious fashion.