Overheard conversations

[peacocks]

"Remote controlled raptors"

If only the old man in Jurassic Park had this idea.  Samuel L. Jackson would still have an arm.

[auto-da-fey]

why I love the Gayborhood:

at a bustling coffee shop, there's a moment where the music and various conversations hit a shared pause, which coincides precisely with some guy telling his friend, "I mean, if I was gonna have anal sex with him, I'd have said something."

dude has a cool card; where I'd have acknowledged the moment with a little sheepish grin/shrug mugging, he just carried on unfazed by the numerous quick glances. kudos to him.

[auto-da-fey]

sadly, at the very moment I was typing that, I missed something that inspired same guy to respond, "well, that's just disgusting." my prurient voyeuristic tendencies are very disappointed.

[G.C.R]

Guy on bus: I'll tell you, all I want for Christmas is Sarah and my son back. That's all I want.
Driver: Well, she's staying a Safe House, but I can't tell you where it is. I'm going to go visit her next week though.
Guy: Man, you know I'm gonna be locked up again by then!

[reebty]

.

[Nick Ink]

"I'm going to shoo you off my carcass because I want to eat the intestines from the inside out - that's what veloceraptors did"

Ellie, to Grace, playing with their little dinosaur models.

edit:

[auto-da-fey]

two dudes are on a first date right in front of me, and one just explained how he dropped out of Narcotics Anonymous because his uncle was in the same group and that was awkward.
the other dude is completely straight edge and mostly always has been.
they seem to be hitting it off. I'm rooting for them. NA dude just said "I don't get, like, twinks."

[auto-da-fey]

45 minutes later, date is still on, but just hit a rocky moment. i was actually focused on my grading and didn't catch the context, but dude #1 said, "so I said, mom, you are a fucking cunt and I hope you die by fire."
dude #2's shocked response: "I would never use that word!"
to #1's credit, he held his ground: "you don't know my mother."

[El_Josharino]

From a phone conversation of one of my coworkers a couple weeks ago. Unfortunately (or maybe fortunately) I could only hear his half:
"Wait. What is ham gravy?"
"Did it come from the monkeypox house?"
"I dunno, Gooch has a brown recluse running rampant over there."

[auto-da-fey]

two guys crossing paths at the coffeeshop 30 seconds ago:

"So how was Triumph of the Will?"
"Oh god, so hot. I guess I'm a Nazi now."

now they're discussing . . . Blind Melon.

[kyle]

two guys crossing paths at the coffeeshop 30 seconds ago:

"So how was Triumph of the Will?"
"Oh god, so hot. I guess I'm a Nazi now."

now they're discussing . . . Blind Melon.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Anne the Man]

Between two people I passed on the street:

"My name's blast-a-holic"
"Hello blast-a-holic"

[milesofsparks]

boys on the playground while throwing things at each other:

"Well YOUR butt's as big as a DINOSAUR!"

[FreddyKnuckles]

The dude in front of me in line at subway was definitely arguing with his sandwich artist about what goes on a blt...

[G.C.R]

Two bros came and sat next to me in the library and started talking loud, and I was all prepared for the dumb. It started out promising - "Dude, Alexa was totally hitting on me, like hard out, last night. and I kissed her, but it was one of those sobering up 'what the hell am I doing' kisses". They then went on to have an emotional, thoughtful conversation about this girl, and how they shouldn't kiss her because it was mean seeing as how she clearly wanted a relationship and neither of them were prepared for that, and they should take responsibility so she wouldn't get hurt. Ten minutes later: "Dude, we should tell Aaron to quit that shit, paedophile jokes are just never funny." Aw, bros!

[G.C.R]

Dear old gent in foyer of my local cinema with his wife, gestures to poster for Incendies: Oh look, Indecencies! I've been really wanting to see Indecencies!
Me too, old fella.

[Trousers and Pat]

ah ha ha that's great. me too.

[Ignatius]

Nice! That would have been so much better. I sold tickets for that for a month, and plenty of people made awkward and/or serious attempts to pronounce that 'properly' but not one person made such an excellent mistake.

It's chock full of indecencies, anyhow, but they're the sad kind.

[Greg Nog]

From the next cubicle over:

"The last movie I saw that actually impressed me was probably Avatar.  I'm like, into cinematography? Like Pixar stuff, y'know?"

[elpollodiablo]

Man, this reminds me--back in July I got an email from Overheard in New York saying that they were going to use a submission of mine, but I couldn't figure out when or what I had submitted. Not sure what it was.

[cold before sunrise]

Ask them? It's might be good to know.

[jm]

[discussing Andy Rooney's death, elevator, NYC 2011]:

BLRG: I don't know, he was some friend of [Andy Rooney's]
GLRB: Mike Douglas?  Mike Wallace?
BLRG: No, it was Rush...rush...
GLRB: Michael Douglas?  M... Morley Safer?  I'm betting it was Michael Douglas
BLRG: Rush... ru...
GLRB: Rush Limbaugh?
BLRG: No, not Rush Limbaugh.  He's a politician.

[auto-da-fey]

I'm 98% sure the girl at the table next to me just leaned over and told her friend, "I mean, I basically smell like cum right now."

I'm at a vegan coffeeshop largely populated by crusties, poly people, anarchists, and etc, so I guess that helps make it more plausible. but no less delightful. also, it's the sort of thing people probably overhear my lady and I saying to one another all the time, so

[das kranke Tier]

 

[Greg Nog]

FUCK YES the mail delivery dude is talking to the secretary about the Mayan Apocalypse

YES
YES
YES