Overheard conversations

[alexandra]

also, when I lived in la a group of kids, like 6, 7 or 8 year olds were outside the apartment being kids, and all of a sudden, one of them screams "I will cut you, stupid!", best moment ever.

[RoyBiggins]

I went to the grocery store last night in the middle of the night, and there was this group of like sven or eight kids who were probably between 17 and 21, all done up.  Some of the guys had some serious Viva Hate hair.  A couple girls in floor-length skirts, and then two in some real short schoolgirl plaids.  As I walk in the door, I just hear the girl angrily go:

"I mean, it's okay once in a while, but can we quit it with the fucking high fives every ten seconds?"

It was awesome.

[The_Tourist]

while walking through the villiage:


hiphopster #1, to hiphopster #2:
"yo, pass me a poptart"


maybe you had to be there.

haha

i was walking home from school the other day and this gangster looking guy was walking towards me trying to look all tuff when i realize he's eating cheetos and drinking purple vitamin water.

you can't be hardcore with orange fingers and purple vitamin water.

[old kentucky shark]

my coworker on the phone

"i want them all fucking killed, do you understand me?"

=)

[Lindsay With An A]

I love this thread.

In class the other day.
Brosef #1 (popping chocolate-covered coffee beans from a plastic bag, hands bag to his friend) : Hey man, chocolate-covered coffee bean?

Brosef #2 (takes a handful) : Thanks man.

Brosef #1: What can I say, bro, I'm the Candyman!!*

*Seriously. Direct quote.

[moloko_plus]

i got y'all beat with the out-of-character gangsta quote.

behold:
"hey, cute nipples, dawg."
(from one bro to another)[/i]

[Andrew_TSKS]

you've got to be kidding me.

[moloko_plus]

i swear to god i'm not

[transistor]

"wanna screw or something?" - old lady co-worker, to a younger male co-worker who was looking though the hardware drawer.

neither of them got it.

[Greg Nog]

"wanna screw or something?" - old lady co-worker, to a younger male co-worker who was looking though the hardware drawer.

neither of them got it.

Along the same lines: recently I was walking with a couple of friends, and we were talking about how a local arts-and-crafts store had closed down.  One of my friends was sad about this, as she likes doing little arts-and-crafts projects, and didn't know where to find more supplies.  This led her to ask:

"Hey, do you know where I could get felt?"

And oh, I laughed.

[RoyBiggins]

I was in the kitchen last night getting a glass of water and my mom said to my dad in a very concerned tone, "Oh--wait...but Rambo didn't kill any police officers, did he?  I mean, he's the good guy, right?"

You might need to know my mom to find that really funny, but she's pretty much Glinda the Good Witch from The Wizard of Oz, if that image helps.

[transistor]

"Hey, do you know where I could get felt?"

classic goodness, automatic.  :]

[rockmeamadeus]

Hahaha Did Rambo kill any police, awesome.

Along the out-of-context sexiness... in the kitchen the other day, "You're getting me really hot with that sausage dish."

[Andrew_TSKS]

I was in the kitchen last night getting a glass of water and my mom said to my dad in a very concerned tone, "Oh--wait...but Rambo didn't kill any police officers, did he?  I mean, he's the good guy, right?"

You might need to know my mom to find that really funny, but she's pretty much Glinda the Good Witch from The Wizard of Oz, if that image helps.

hah, i've only ever read the book "first blood", but rambo basically ONLY kills police officers in the movie from what i heard. in the book, he kills like half the town.

[lucky strike]

rambo kills what rambo wants
you got any problems with that? take it up with RAMBO

[Maaik]

One of my favorite things is making strangers laugh.  I was at a restaraunt with some friends one night and one of 'em was telling us about a trip to Olive Garden where she'd witnessed a couple becoming over-the-top frustrated about mediocre service, culminating in them getting up to leave before their entrees were served.  The host asked them what was wrong to which the woman replied "I'm sorry, this just isn't working out," at which my friend interjects into her story "Like what?  Are you breaking up with the Olive Garden?"

And the guy at the table behind us cracked up.  I love it.

[db]

At the Adidas store in downtown Seattle a year or so ago:

Teenage girl #1, talking what she thinks is quietly: "Oh my God, I can't believe that guy's beard!" *giggles*

Teenage girl #2: *turns to look*

Teenage girl #1: "Don't look!"

Me: *Smiles and waves at the adoring public*

Edit: for reference, please see here.

[RoyBiggins]

One of my favorite things is making strangers laugh.  

Yes, yes, yes!  Once I made a huge, thuggish looking guy at Perkins turn around in his booth, laughing in disbelief of what I had just said, and he said "C'mon, now, Doctor!"  which you pretty much have to hear to understand.  It's more like "come ON NOW, doc-Tah" and he's thuggish and probably drunk.  That's my favorite.

Also a favorite: I was at the dollar theatre seeing Swordfish.  At one point, these two guys are talking, and one of them goes "Come on!  Thomas Jefferson said---" and then the other guy shot him, and my friend Carson shouted out "WAIT! WHAT DID THOMAS JEFFERSON SAY!@? and pretty much the whole theatre laughed.

[FreddyKnuckles]

the other day some dude:

"I mean, I'm not God!  I'm not even like, a social worker!"

[Marie]

Overheard by a loudmouth next to me at a bar this weekend, to his bored date:

Loudmouth: See, my mom used to buy me stupid clothes, but I've got her trained to only buy me socks and underwear now.
Date: You're smart.
Loudmouth: TOO SMART!

[Trousers and Pat]

you can't be hardcore with orange fingers and purple vitamin water.

For the record, purple vitamin water is probably the 50Cent endorsed Formula 50. But still.

I went to see some movie last year (eternal sunshine?) and as the opening credits started I said something like "oh man... how long until the end?" Some guy sitting nearby was like "Totally!"
Then went and smoked a cigarette in the bathroom.

[FreddyKnuckles]

bringin' this bad boy back...

so I was just sitting in my room, hanging out, and my roommate came home and I heard her talking to some guy.  I sort of tune out their convo, and I don't go out there because I don't feel like meeting him for some reason.  Then I hear him say, "well... I'd better get going, it was an awesome night though"
her: "yeah"
him:"Since you're leaving and everything, it would be cool if we were just friends.  
her: "yeah, that's cool"
him: "but if you ever want to like, make out or get it on or something, I'd be down for that."
her: "uh, I'll keep that in mind"
him: "Just putting it out there, ya know, whatever, no big deal, I just think you're a really awesome person"
her: "thanks"
him:" but I really need to go get going to campus, there's this girl and she's super depressed and she might like, kill herself or something."
her: "that's crazy"
him: "Yeah, well, its my exgirlfriend, and she's like, totally depressed over me and stuff, which I hate cause like, I really love her as a person and all, and she just like, totally wants to kill her self because of me."
her: "ok bye"
him: " can I have a hug"
her: "uh ok, bye"

[Black Amnesia of Heaven]

Hahahahaha oh God.  That's wonderful.

[woden22]

middle aged woman on what looks like a first date, walking on the pier:

"My son is a lot like me, except he doesn't believe in killing things'

and also, overheard in a passing car: "Fuck the transmission, we're driving...we're driving..."

[Good Intentions]

"My son is a lot like me, except he doesn't believe in killing things"

Wow. Wow.