Overheard conversations

[Maaik]

Penny Marshall is going to make a movie about your family, Greg.

[silentsigh89]

at my sister's wedding:

cousin stephanie: oh my god, I love your dress!
cousin mare: Oooh, thank you, sweetie! I think it makes me look like jackie O-
Grandmother: (drunkenly) Shut up, MARE!!

and yesterday I was at a friend's house during a fourth of july party that their stepfather was throwing for the neighborhood:

neighbor 1: oh your boys are very handsome.
stepfather: they aren't my boys, I just pay for them
neighbor 1: ah, well. Very handsome, but I bet they know it!
stepfather: they don't, though! that's the thing! they don't get it! they're dumb! they don't get anything! I got it when they were their age! Did you see the girl?
neighbor 1: oh yes, they could do better, but they'll learn that pretty quickly
stepfather: I tell you what, these boys don't learn NOTHING quickly.

[elpollodiablo]

Heh.

This isn't really an overheard conversation considering I was a part of it, but this guy I know from class (who, incidentally, I am meeting at the bar in a little while) is a witty sort. When I was first talking to him on a break I asked where he was from and he said, "The sprawl. Same as you."

I am easily amused.

[das kranke Tier]

Man, I wish I were able to think of shit like that in the midst of ordinary conversation.

[nonotyet]

Temporary Coworker Guy, exiting the elevator just now and to no one in particular:

"I have BEE-YUN to the mountaintop."

[justinh]

Is he singing gospel to himself?  I had a co-worker once who would listen to gospel and like SHOUT the lyrics super loud, regardless of who might be around.  Kind of awesome, but weird. 

[nonotyet]

Overheard conversation as heard by Favoritest Bartender in Whole Entire World and repeated to me:

girl [singing praises of her boyfriend]: "And his brother lives in New York, in Soho."
Dude: "That's in Manhattan."
girl: "I thought it was in New York."

[Greg Nog]

Guy #1 walks into the bar, wearing an Explosions in the Sky shirt that prominently features a falcon.

Guy #2:  Hey, wow.  Are you a falconer?

Guy #1:  What? ...No?

Guy #2:  Oh.  I saw the shirt, I figured you might be a falconer.

Guy #1:  Oh!  Oh, no.  I thought you said "Faulkner."  No, I'm not a falconer.  This is just a band T-shirt.

Guy #2:  Ha ha, no, "Falconer."  Not "Faulkner."

Guy #1:  Ha ha, no, I'm not a falconer.

Guy #2:  Okay, cool.

A few minutes pass.

Me:  Excuse me.  I couldn't help but overhear what you were just saying.  Are you William Faulkner?

Guy #1:  No...

Me:  Oh.

...

Me:  I thought maybe you wrote The Sound And The Fury.

Guy #1:  No...

Me:  You didn't write Absalom, Absalom?

Guy #1:  No.

Me:  Okay.

...

Guy #1:  Isn't that guy dead?

Me:  ...     Yeah.

[morgan]

Haha, awesome.

[girl]

I often wonder if people on the other side of random encounters with Greg aren't blogging about it elsewhere. . . you won't believe this guy I met tonight . . .

[cool banana]

[There are people waterblasting the roof of the building we can see from the office.]

Girl I work with 1: "Wonder what they're doing."
Girl I work with 2: "Maybe they're trying to find a leak?"

[Doctor Bob]

Getting the bus home on Monday evening, a girl got on at the same stop as me.  She was around 20, carrying a copy of Heat magazine (UK celeb rag- soap stars, D-list oompah-loompah tan wannabes, etc.) and talking loudly into her mobile phone about having to finish off writing words for a song (yes, you heard me correctly).

Upstairs on the bus she sat right in front of me and the phone conversation continued, leading eventually to this gem:

"No, I have to write them tonight.  So listen...  What rhymes with 'love'?"


(It went on later with "What rhymes with 'glass'?  ...  Don't say ass!")

[Mike24]

this was not overheard, someone actually said it to me.

"yeah, I'm kind of an environmentalist now, I've become one with nature.  Like, I was on the bus, and there was this caterpillar on my arm, and i didn't even flick it off, i just let it stay on my arm."

[das kranke Tier]

Did you immediately slap them?

[DCDave]

"Getting lipstick on that pig was really hard"

"What I think you should go is get a lot of makeup and lipstick and get that pig to look real pretty"

Overheard in the elevator in my building.

[Mike24]

Did you immediately slap them?

unfortunately not, he's a friend of a friend.  but i did laugh probably a little louder than i should have.

[RoyBiggins]

His name's not Marques (pronounced "Marcus") is it?  If so, I absolutely went to college with him.

[Mike24]

His name's not Marques (pronounced "Marcus") is it?  If so, I absolutely went to college with him.

no, but i know a marcus who would also be capable of saying something like that.  but he's a 45 year old teacher/bartender/pedophile so i don't think that's your man.

[das kranke Tier]

A real renaissance man, eh?

[Andrew_TSKS]

His name's not Marques (pronounced "Marcus") is it?  If so, I absolutely went to college with him.

no, but i know a marcus who would also be capable of saying something like that.  but he's a 45 year old teacher/bartender/pedophile so i don't think that's your man.

well, you never know... after all, [insert joke about roybiggins hitting on 17 year old girls here].

[rockmeamadeus]

Two chicks with orangina tans and abercrombie shirts at the grocery:

Thing 1: Yeah I like Chad and all, but he has this, like, hideous tattoo next to his, you know.
Thing 2: What is it, like a unicorn or something? [titters]
Thing 1: No it's this big skull, with an open mouth and stuff, it's got skin still on it and everything.
Thing 2: Gross.
Thing 1: Yeah and when I said "this is not too hot" he goes "well fuck you, babe, it's the hissy gits and they kick ass"
Thing 2: whatever



I can only assume she misheard 'misfits', though I would be in a band called the hissy fits.

[Aglaya]

it's the hissy gits

I would be in a band called the Hissy Gits.

[jebreject]

i would be in a band called the git fits

[rockmeamadeus]

i would be in a band called the git fits

soon, my friend.

[Doctor Bob]

Man: Donnie Darko?
Woman: Yeah she was in that alright, but that's not the one I'm thinking of.  She was in that film a few years ago that was set in an office.
M: Oh right, I think I know the one you're talking about.
W: I can't remember what yer man's name was, the main guy in the movie.
M: It's on the tip of my tongue...
M (sounding slightly elated): Was it Being John Malkovich?
W: No, not that.  It was an odd movie.  She played a quiet girl who got a job as a legal secretary and got involved in a dominant / submissive relationship with her boss.  He used to spank her while she was bent over a desk.
M: Sounds a bit weird.
W: Yeah, I wish I could remember the name of the damn thing.
M: How's your soup?