should i be gay or a liar?

[jordanmichael]

so for a few months, if not years now my parents have been suspecting i'm gay due to the fact that i'm constantly hanging out with the same guy all the time and i never go out with girls or have them over. for a month or so now i've been hanging out with my friend haley a lot, and yesterday my mom walked in on us lying in my bed, in the dark, listening to music. it wasn't sexual at all. we were actually just talking, but my mom really got her hopes up that i'm dating and what not. now granted, i'm not gay, but there is nothing going on between me and my friend. should i let my mom continue to be all happy thinking that i finally have a girlfriend again, or should i let her go back to thinking i'm gay?

[andronicus]

Personally, I always lean toward 'leave them completely in the dark and let them think whatever the hell they want.'  This may not be the healthiest response though, so I don't know.

[Heathcote]

i think you should not tell her you are going out, if she asks if you are, say no...

It's not very nice that she would be saddened by you sexuality, whatever it be

[SPACERACE]

my mother would be the happiest woman in the whole world if i were gay.

[FreddyKnuckles]

Say "hey mom, haley is just my friend! But not to worry, I ain't no queer"

[rockmeamadeus]

Jordan, dude, just let her think what she will. Mom's are strange beasts, and if it does her heart good to think that right now you are not gay, let her think it. Though if you do get gay you ought'nt keep that from her. Man, this is horrible advice.

[Maaik]

I think you're looking at a unique opportunity here to turn these simple misconceptions into an all-out Shakespearian/romantic comedy farce of mistaken identity, embarrassing situations and uproarious innuendo!  Throw in some musical numbers and we're talkin' off-off-Broadway sensation!  Kid, you're gonna be huge.

[FreddyKnuckles]

yeah, it's tough to give advice about this, because it isn't particularly serious, but you don't want to ignore the fact that she shouldn't care if you're gay.

and if its that one dude that plays the bass that you talk about constantly that she thinks you are gay with, than I can see how she might think that.

edit: what myke said.

[Maaik]

Conversely, we can flip the POV to your mother and get some maudlin Lifetime Original Movie out of it.  Only, and here's the thing, you'd have to start being really gay and perhaps a drug addict.

[FreddyKnuckles]

you could be gay and a liar, and be a 'gair', or a 'lay'. A really really bad lay.

[Andrew_TSKS]

i'm incapable of being jokey about stuff like this, which is an unfortunate character flaw of mine. so i'm just going to say that heathcote's advice is probably best, though i'm more of the andronicus school in my own life.

speaking of which, i don't EVEN want to know what my parents think of my love life at this point. truth is, they're probably very aware of just exactly what kind of desperate loser i am, but i'd rather imagine the confusion they could be experiencing if they were slightly slower on the uptake.

[leisure and poison]

My parents are always nudging me to call up "You know, that guy you used to hang out with (a year ago)."

Um, yeah there was a reason we stopped hanging out, otherwise, wouldn't I be hanging out/dating them? They try, you can't blame them for trying. I suppose in the end, they just want me to be happy... and that's prolly what your Mom feels, too.

I think honesty is the best possiblity in this case. If she asks you about it (I'm never direct with my parents about my relationships, I wait for them to ask me about it, usually) tell her what or what is not going on.

[transistor]

i'm going to have to second freddy's first comment, only maybe say it in a not so freddy manner. i vote for no-fuss honesty. hopefully she will respect you for it. just get it over with so you can go back to lying in bed and listening to awesome music in peace.

[alexandra]

my parents want me to get married and have babies and i'm pretty sure i'm not into either of those things. there's always been that pressure from them, so as a teen, i fucked with them. I dated girls and brought home flambouyant gay men to cuddle with. My mom still asks me about who i'm seeing and i just brush it off. my parents really don't need to know who or what i'm into.

[diesel_powered]

You know, I'm not quite sure why this is such a huge deal to your parents. I had a few relationships with girls in high school, but I pretty much just had guy friends. What did it get me? POW! Big red "gay" stamp on the forehead.

Admittedly, in the long run it made me a lot less hung up about sexuality, but in the short run it totally sabotaged a lot of potentially rewarding, intimate relationships with other males.

So basically, just tell the truth. That's what I'd do.

[swilkes]

I think you're looking at a unique opportunity here to turn these simple misconceptions into an all-out Shakespearian/romantic comedy farce of mistaken identity, embarrassing situations and uproarious innuendo!  Throw in some musical numbers and we're talkin' off-off-Broadway sensation!  Kid, you're gonna be huge.

Myke has the right idea, tho I think a Joe Orton farce would be better. or Oscar Wilde, if you want all dramatis personae to keep their clothes on.

Jordan, you're, like, 17, right? You've got years to go, and your mom aughta know that. Until you're actually married, or your life is endangered by them, your relationships are none of your parents' business.

[dieblucasdie]

Yeah, clearly the only option is to have your male friend start dressing up like a girl when he comes over.  Unless, uh, you already do that.

[DCDave]

Jordan, are you fucking your male friend?

Because you might be gay if you are.

[Wally]

He called it practise. I called it love. He told me to put a dress on. I told him he was my world.