Dreams You HAD

[Captain]

So there I was, face-to-face with Mr. Johnny Depp himself!  Wow!  Could you believe it?  He's a favorite of mine, you know.  And he's a sharp dresser, let me tell you.  Wearing a nice bowlers hat and everything.

I extend my hand and begin to introduce myself.  "Hello, Mr. Depp!  What a pleasure to meet..."

Johnny begins to open his mouth.  Slowly.  As his gaping maw yawns, something small and buzzing darts out.  Then another.  Within seconds, a swarm of bees issues forth.

Ah, finals week!

[alistarr*]

would not be surprised to see that scene in pirates 4. you, of course, would be another johnny depp in this scene.

[Ignatius]

would not be surprised to see that scene in pirates 4. you, of course, would be another johnny depp in this scene.

Pirates IV: Pirates vs. Candyman?

[YojimboMonkey]

ha, Pirates of the Cabrini Green

[ellaguru]

In my dream last night, some dude torched my house. Then he came back and stole my Lou Reed box set from the wreckage. He was a jerk about it, too.

[Thermofusion]

A dream I had recently featured an ex-girlfriend chaining me down and sawing each of my fingers off slowly, one-by-one, as Mystikal's "Bumpin Me Against the Wall" played in loop on a small portable boombox next to the table. I don't have too many dreams like that, thankfully; I chalk this one up to eating really salty chinese take-out shortly before bedtime.

[Greg Nog]

In my dream last night, my ex was grabbing my junk!  I e-mailed her today to say hello how are you, but refrained from mentioning her astral-plane ribaldry.

[Andrew_TSKS]

ha, Pirates of the Cabrini Green

YES

[girl]

I've been having this crazy marathon dream for days now. It keeps continuing every time I sleep. I'm on vacation with a huge cast of supporting characters--some from LPtJ, some from real life, some I don't even know who they are--and we're all in a pretty hotel. My ex-husband showed up, (The ex-husband i don't see, talk to or know anything about anymore.) and said, "we should get married again". Dream me agreed, so we had a ceremony. I woke up, then the next time I went to sleep dream me was really upset at having said yes and is trying to sort out how to get out of this stupid marriage again. I hope it continues again. I'm sort of anxious to see how it ends.

[andronicus]

Starring Pimples McGuin as Cabana Boy #2

[G.C.R]

I had no idea you'd been married, girl!

[girl]

Yeah. I'm sure I've talked about it before, but it's so much not a part of my life that I don't even really think about it much anymore. I was in a strange place in my life when it seemed like it would be a good idea to be married. It was never a good match and if I'd done my usual "take a step back and look at the big picture" I probably could've avoided it altogether.

[Maaik]

So I actually had a Last Plane dream last night.  Appropriately, on some sort of whim I'd hopped a flight up the east coast somewhere.  Arriving and being brought to some wooded meeting center, I discovered that a lot of people I'd known in high school or even from previous jobs had convened for some reason (my old friend Jamie, for instance, who didn't even recognize me).  Going inside, I was greeted by Briggins and Lucy (I remember giving Brian one of those hugs where I've got my legs wrapped around his midsection and he's basically just holding me) and a number of other folks from these here parts--all standing in a loose circle, happily and loudly chatting.  It was a nice little scene.

[davy]

That kind of dream always reminds me of those Simpsons episodes where they just show old clips the whole time.

[Maaik]

Now I'm imagining a blogger's review of my dream.

"Myke's dream last night was the kind of greatest hits fluff meant to make the dreamer feel nostalgic.  Instead, I was left feeling unfulfilled.  A look back at Saturday's dream where the protagonist was being chased by an invisible wolf into a desert where the sand made the wolf's outline visible and he was able to cut it's head off and free the beautiful woman trapped inside--THAT dream was innovative and fresh.  Last night's just proved the subconscious was coasting.  Hopefully they'll get back on track tonight."

[Ashley]

 i lived in this weird house with all kinds of different people, and it was very work orientated.  there was a big table that had a box on top of it that was full of mud, and people used it to make wool.  I went over and fucked up somehting about the wool and a kitten came over and fixed it.  And then he said "can I have some tissue to put in some milk?" and I gave him some clean tissue and he was like "can I get some for my momma and my papa?" and I gave him some more, and then he said "can you go ask her for some milk?" and pointed to a woman who was watching tv and had jugs of milk and a million little kittens of different ages.  and I was like "well I don't know she looks scary" and the kitten looked at me all sad and i as like "well you did fix my wool".
 so i went over and looked at the kittens - they were all different ages and some were really fucking tiny - and the woman seemed to be in a good mood so I said "one of the kittens asked me for some milk" and she laughed and said stuff about the kittens and gave them some milk.
 then a big firetruck came and a big mess of asians came out.  a whole lot of them.  and all the kittens turned into asians.  and they went to work doing stuff, they were all really dirty and covered in mud and moved all my stuff around and got mud on everything.   the kitten (now an asian guy) that asked me for milk started talking to me and asked me if i was ACTIVE as in SEXUALLY and it was weird to talk about that with my father sitting behind me.  and he told me he was deeply in love with me, and I was like "man thats flattering but you don't even know me".  then a different part of the truck opened and all these women (not necessarily asians, some people from highschool) in evening growns ran out, and ran outside.  ask they were running they TURNED INTO DINOSAURS and lined up.  Most of them were tiny triceratops.
After some other asian people who were guarding the dinosaurs told me that asian guy was in love with me and i was creeped out by him and found him sleeping in my closet.

But I was also intrigued because he could turn into a kitten and fuck a boy who can turn into a kitten?  Man I don't know what I want more.  (Unless he can turn into a kitten AND a  dinosaur).

[Aglaya]

I had a very weird dream.  Part of it was at a party, where I ran into Davy and his friend/my co-worker Andy.  I was complaining that I don't get really drunk very often at all.  They decided that we were going to hang out and get shitfaced.  It must've worked, because then the dream skipped to the next morning, and I couldn't remember anything.  I was on a porch, and I couldn't find my glasses.  Then I went to Whole Foods with Darcy and our friend John, and I wanted to get some candy, but John stuck his arm in the bin where the candy was and every single piece of it ended up stuck to his arm.  I really wanted the candy though, so I picked the pieces off of his arm and put them in a bag.  There was a lot more, but I've lost the rest of it.

[davy]

You don't remember what happened after we left the party?! Damn!

I'd tell you, but...

IT'S BEST YOU DON'T KNOW.

[mixed cats]

Then I went to Whole Foods with Darcy and our friend John, and I wanted to get some candy, but John stuck his arm in the bin where the candy was and every single piece of it ended up stuck to his arm.  I really wanted the candy though, so I picked the pieces off of his arm and put them in a bag.  There was a lot more, but I've lost the rest of it.

that gives a whole new meaning to arm candy, yukyuk

[Maaik]

Oh what the FUCK.  So I dreamed I was hanging out in an apartment that wasn't our apartment but it was our apartment and the place was pretty messy.  Just old papers and empty beer bottles and all other kinds of shit just everywhere.  I was sitting around reading or something and this woman appears--fake tan complexion, blond hair, bright smile and sorority t-shirt.  She explains that she's one of tMO's sisters (IRL, tMO was never in a sorority, but whatever) and they're going around replacing or rearranging all the framed photos in the house with photos of tMO and her sisters.  I notice one picture sitting on the counter where I'm sitting does indeed have just such a photo now and I notice the three other sisters waving from another room.  I'm expected to make a $30 donation for them to come back and put everything back as it was.  I ask if they take debit.  "This place is kind of messy," the lead one says, "is there anything I can help with?"

Then in the still-messy apartment, I'm preparing some places to sit for myself, a friend that's coming over, and a guest of his.  They arrive and my "friend" is someone I don't recognize and his guest is Glenn Fucking Beck.  Fucking Glenn Beck politely refuses everything I offer him to drink and stands during the whole conversation.  The actual content of the conversation was kind of glossed over in the dream, but it was nothing that got Glenn Fuck Beck excited at all.  At the end of the visit there were warm smiles all around and I followed Fucking Fuck Glenn Fuck Beck out into the hall and told him he was an "entertaining guy."  Glenn Fackity Foo Beck Fuck nodded, turned and left.  Fuck.  What the Fuck.

[diesel_powered]

Last night I dreamt I was wandering around a big college thing. I was supposed to meet my parents and grandmother, but they were nowhere to be found, so Instead I went to Hot Doug's and woke up disappointed not to be at Hot Doug's.

[Ashley]

Seroquel gives me really crazy fucking dreams and usually I can't remember most of them and only remember INTENSE EMOTIONS and little snippets.  So now I remember a lot of INTENSE EMOTION and a coherent snippet.

So the first part of the dream that I can remember, I'm trying to make a sculpture in a bath tub while wearing a costume for some mexican festival, and I'm trying to do a GOOD JOB of it and be really ridiculous and over the top because even the making of the sculpture is supposed to be a performance and there arent people watching yet but there will be.  A woman who reminds me a bit of whoopi goldberg runs the house I live in, and she's encouraging me to make this sculpture.  At least 28 people live in this house. 

Then she sends me out to do some other work, and I get on this flying saucer like thing with this guy and he explains how the flying saucer works, and its all a little bit fantasyworldish like dinotopia.  We fly through some parks and things and everything looks really weird and the landscape is really intense and I get some intense emotion though it.   

I get off back at the house, but my family is there, and my father is building bookshelves, and my family is helping him and they demand that I help.  And it totally fucking blows because my family doesn't really cooperate when they work together and usually when they're doing this kind of hands on work I just throw a fit and go inside and clean the house so I seem like I'm doing something to help but I don't have to be around them or do anything they tell me to do.  My father tells me to make a bookshelf, so I do, and then I want to leave.  And he gets mad at me and tells me I did a shitty job.  And I go into a fucking rage and I'm totally fucking pissed because making bookshelves is HARD okay.  And he doesn't get it and he just keeps getting madder and I run away.  The emotions are INTENSE.

I run away, and at some point I meet up with a couple of friends, and we break into a house and start peeking into bedroom doors in this house to see if the kid in them is awake, and if we can curl up next to the cat on the bed and pretend to be cats too.  There's an endless hall of bedrooms, and in some of them we wake up the kid, or the cat runs away, so we keep moving.  Then we find a room with two beds in it, and the floor is covered in action toys.  And so  is one of the beds.  We look a little harder and theres a little boy asleep in the action figure bed, and there's a cat asleep on the other one.  So we sneak in and take off our clothes and curl up on the other bed, and me and my friend Maria spoon.  And I whisper to her "You know, before, in Mexico (from the previous festival part of the dream), they would ASK me to do this - and"  I was going to say THEY WOULD FEED ME MEXICAN FOOD and it was awesome and I had images of me with a herd of cats behind me and mountains of mexican food and naps and it was great, but she says "SHHH" and we watch the light change under the bedroom door and we're terrified.

A soccer mom looking woman opens the door, and turns on the light, and she sees us, and she's like WHAT GET OUT.  And my two friends hide under blankets and cower into corners but I don't really see the point so I sit up and start looking for my socks.  I see all of my other clothes on the floor, including my underwear, and I think "why is that there, I don't feel naked.  ... maybe if I just don't think about being naked I won't feel like it" so I ignore the underwear.  And the woman is saying "You thought I wouldn't notice!?  All of the bedroom doors are open, the cats are everywhere!  There's millions of them in the family room and they all have socks!"   I find my bra and a top and I set them on the bed, and I keep looking for my pants and end up picking up like 4 pairs of pants and put them on the bed.  The woman is all GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT.  But I just keep my cool.

Then she leave the room and she comes back with a tiny siringe.  And she tries to calm me and I freak out at the sight of it.  My friends slip out the window.  I'm trying to grab the woman's wrists and she's flailing and then SHE STICKS ME IN THE EAR.  And I yell at her, but I don't really feel anything so its okay.  Then she gets out a newspaper and says "You should read this story." "what story" "Its called The Stinky Dog."  So I read it while she holds it up, and for the first little bit its reading, but then I get sucked into something like a video game, and I can see that the character I am playing is a dog, and he is trying to do something for a king, like get together ingredients for a soup or something, and all these other animals are trying to help you.  But as you go on, you see that the things the other animals are doing are just getting in your way, and they're trying to get you to do their work for me.  A wolf gives me a door, and I open it, and inside is a rose, and he steals it and goes to give it to the lady he's crushing on.   The king is standing outside my doorway banging on the door wondering why I'm taking so long. 

And I stop reading and I look at the woman, and she says "What character do you think you are?" and I say "Well I guess I'm a bit of a stinky dog." 

She gets mad and says that SHE is the stinky dog and she can't have us sleeping in her beds with her cats because we just get in the way all the time.  Then we hear a gate open outside, and I look out the window, and Maria and my brother are letting the woman's horses out.  And I think to myself "here we go again", while wondering why the bra I'm wearing fits so well because I can see MY bra on the floor and my boobs are pretty huge and I'm pretty sure the only bras that would be in here would belong tothat woman and her boobs aren't half as big as mine but damn this bra is comfy.

I wake up feeling my boobs.


I have dreams like this EVERY FUCKING NIGHT.  I sleep for like 16 hours, but man, I don't think it's because the seroquel makes me groggy, I think its because MAN DREAM WORLD > LIFE.

[diesel_powered]

So last night's dream was a quirky Japanese rom-com. I'm out with some couple I'm friends with and we get kidnapped at gunpoint by two slightly unhinged sisters, one of which has been stalking the guy from the couple. The plan is to kidnap him, profess her love, and everybody lives happily ever after. Obviously this doesn't work since he's already involved with someone else, but in an impassioned speech from me, I convince stalker girl that she shouldn't break up his thing and that I'm single, so why don't we give it a whirl? So we go off to live happily ever after in her giant modernist house (turns out she's an architect... and rich... score, bonus). And later that night we go to a Kid 606 show. And one of my friends gets tossed out for stage diving.

[clare]

Man, I wish my dreams were that well scripted!

[diesel_powered]

I'm considering optioning it to various studios.