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657250 Posts in 9253 Topics by 3396 Members Latest Member: - vlozan86 Most online today: 85 - most online ever: 494 (Jul 01, 2007, 02:59:53 PM)
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Author Topic: Depression thread  (Read 29214 times)
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peacocks
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Posts: 4615


« Reply #350 on: Nov 21, 2011, 03:48:01 PM »

hope your ankle feels better. Not being able to walk sucks Sad
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DCDave
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Posts: 10387


« Reply #351 on: Nov 24, 2011, 10:16:41 AM »

Not really depression, more sadness - It's been 3 years since my brother-in-law died. I just wanted to thank you guys for being there for me when I went through that shit.

Grief is weird, the way it comes and goes. I talk a lot about cancer these days as we try and figure out how our company can help people not go through the same guessing games/being in the dark/difficult communication with care teams. It's really hard not to cry when I do.

Anyway. Just wanted to say thanks dudes. I know I don't post much lately and have a tendency to troll, but you guys are really solid people and I'm glad I have the pleasure of calling a bunch of you my friends.

 Much Love
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Anne the Man
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Posts: 4444


« Reply #352 on: Nov 24, 2011, 08:53:19 PM »

Much Love back atcha, Dave.
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jebreject
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Posts: 27071


« Reply #353 on: Nov 24, 2011, 08:59:48 PM »

Much Love back atcha, Dave.
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Babar
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Posts: 3305


« Reply #354 on: Nov 25, 2011, 12:18:32 AM »

Not really depression, more sadness

Don't worry, of course we have a wide variety of threads with specific purposes and I did you the favor of finding it. Here you go, friend.

Of course, I hope you don't have to post in it Wink
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Ashley
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Posts: 1876


« Reply #355 on: Dec 05, 2011, 10:47:33 AM »

I spent the past two weeks locked in my room.

Today I got up and got showered and put on clothes all "yeah I'm gonna be a real person again!".  But then I sat down to eat breakfast, and I felt like my clothes were all dirty, and my face was sweating, and I was really uncomfortable.  So I had to take all my clothes off.  I'll be able to get dressed later, because I have to go to class, but I'm not going to be comfortable and I'm going to want to come home as soon as possible.

I had a breakdown at school 2 weeks ago that sort of kicked this all off.  I went to the counseling centre at the school, counselor had me talk to my GP.  I ended up telling the doctor I thought I was going to hurt myself.  She just stared at me and made me feel like it was my fault I didn't have an appointment with a psychiatrist yet.  I'm starting to feel like doctors can't help me.  

I mean, I know this moment will pass.  But having to take these breaks in life is really frustrating.  It effects my ability to work, my social life, my relationship with acquaintances.  I don't know how to come back from a bad month and get past things that happened, after a year I usually just surround myself with new people.  I wish I could stop feeling like my life was such a nightmare.  
« Last Edit: Dec 05, 2011, 10:54:29 AM by Ashley » Logged

dogg you ain't gotta rustle outside in cloaks of darkness and shit
peacocks
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Posts: 4615


« Reply #356 on: Dec 05, 2011, 11:12:47 AM »

Shit, I really hope you can get some help and begin to be kind to yourself. I know the feeling, when you wake up OK and then things slowly start to fall apart and you start feeling like you are being punched by your own brain.

Hang in there Ashley! You are awesome!  Heart Heart Heart

ps. update on the SAM-E stuff I started taking every day in the mornings. I think it works, actually. I've been feeling much more upbeat and like myself. Being alone is easier and more fun than it used to be.
« Last Edit: Dec 05, 2011, 11:18:50 AM by peacocks » Logged

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Em
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Posts: 1007


« Reply #357 on: Dec 05, 2011, 01:09:03 PM »

Ashley, I hope you find some relief soon. Doctors can help you, you just have to find the right ones, and that can be hard when even doing basic things seems like a challenge. If you can, shower and get dressed as if you're going somewhere where you have to look presentable every day. That simple routine has helped me when I've been all depressed/hermit-like. Maybe even do something special for yourself -- get some bath salts, give yourself a pedicure, etc. It sounds stupid but sometimes it works.

Dont' hurt yourself. I can't actually go about telling you what to do if you really think you're going to, because whenever people have given me that advice I've ignored it. Don't do that.

Be well.
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Ashley
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Posts: 1876


« Reply #358 on: Dec 05, 2011, 02:36:57 PM »

Thanks peacocks and Em.  

Grooming really is a major stress reducer, if there's anything I keep on top of it's keeping my nails maintained and eyebrows plucked.  It does seem silly but when you're freaking out being able to be all "okay just focus on cleaning the nailpolish off and washing your hands and cutting your nails and rubbing moisturizer in and painting and waiting and painting and waiting again" can really help you chill out.  I think I learned this from my cats.  It gets a bit dangerous though because sometimes I end up cutting my hair.  Usually it comes out alright, but it feels a bit like ... why am I letting myself do this, haha.  But it's better than being self destructive in other ways, and relatively easy to get over if it goes badly.
« Last Edit: Dec 05, 2011, 02:40:51 PM by Ashley » Logged

dogg you ain't gotta rustle outside in cloaks of darkness and shit
cold before sunrise
Registered user

Posts: 2500


« Reply #359 on: Dec 05, 2011, 06:33:38 PM »

yes! when i'm really upset it always helps to give myself a cuticle massage and clean my nails. part of it feels like preparing for a fight, the calm before the storm, and there's a certain 'taming the wildcat' feeling about it that's soothing. by the time i'm done that the kitten inside wants me to give myself a face massage too and that's usually enough to chill out any beast threatening to be set loose. i really can't recommend facial massage enough. 
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jebreject
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Posts: 27071


« Reply #360 on: Dec 05, 2011, 07:12:43 PM »

I spent the past two weeks locked in my room.

Today I got up and got showered and put on clothes all "yeah I'm gonna be a real person again!".  But then I sat down to eat breakfast, and I felt like my clothes were all dirty, and my face was sweating, and I was really uncomfortable.  So I had to take all my clothes off.  I'll be able to get dressed later, because I have to go to class, but I'm not going to be comfortable and I'm going to want to come home as soon as possible.

I had a breakdown at school 2 weeks ago that sort of kicked this all off.  I went to the counseling centre at the school, counselor had me talk to my GP.  I ended up telling the doctor I thought I was going to hurt myself.  She just stared at me and made me feel like it was my fault I didn't have an appointment with a psychiatrist yet.  I'm starting to feel like doctors can't help me.  

I mean, I know this moment will pass.  But having to take these breaks in life is really frustrating.  It effects my ability to work, my social life, my relationship with acquaintances.  I don't know how to come back from a bad month and get past things that happened, after a year I usually just surround myself with new people.  I wish I could stop feeling like my life was such a nightmare.  

I wish I had something more productive to say, but  Heart
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fishjim
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Posts: 1982


« Reply #361 on: Dec 05, 2011, 08:15:05 PM »

Sorry to hear this, Ashley. I know that nightmare feeling - it's not anything you can reason with.

Are you a fan of Kimya Dawson? She's the singer who did most of the songs in Juno. While I'm not sure it would've sped my recovery to have had Kimya around to calm me down, her latest makes it clear she knows that nightmare feeling, too. At the very least, she's a reassuring voice to play while you're grooming.

If you don't have the money, I'm happy to upload Thunder Thighs to mediafire & delete it once you've downloaded it. I'm 100% certain Kimya would be cool with this.
« Last Edit: Dec 05, 2011, 08:21:05 PM by fishjim » Logged

Just wandering the countryside clearing caves.
Ashley
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Posts: 1876


« Reply #362 on: Dec 06, 2011, 05:28:48 AM »

Thanks everyone, I'm feeling a bit better now.  This semester is over, and I feel $600 richer because I found out I haven't been getting money I should be getting, but I will eventually get it.  Maybe without school woes and money woes I will chill out a bit.

Are you a fan of Kimya Dawson? She's the singer who did most of the songs in Juno. While I'm not sure it would've sped my recovery to have had Kimya around to calm me down, her latest makes it clear she knows that nightmare feeling, too. At the very least, she's a reassuring voice to play while you're grooming.

If you don't have the money, I'm happy to upload Thunder Thighs to mediafire & delete it once you've downloaded it. I'm 100% certain Kimya would be cool with this.

I am familiar with Kimya Dawson, although I'm more of an Adam Green fan.  I haven't heard Thunder thighs though, I'll totally give it a listen.  Smile
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dogg you ain't gotta rustle outside in cloaks of darkness and shit
davy
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Posts: 24822


« Reply #363 on: Dec 06, 2011, 04:34:47 PM »

Hey Em, I sent you a pm.

And Ashley, I'm really glad to hear you're feeling better.
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Em
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Posts: 1007


« Reply #364 on: Dec 06, 2011, 04:55:14 PM »

Ashley, it's good you're feeling like some things are getting back on track.

Davy, I wrote you back.
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Babar
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Posts: 3305


« Reply #365 on: Dec 06, 2011, 05:07:09 PM »

Hey uhhh... dumbfish, sent you a pm, man. don't tell Em and Davy.
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milly balgeary
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Posts: 11512


« Reply #366 on: Dec 06, 2011, 06:42:58 PM »

Hey Babar, PM in your inbox.
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Em
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Posts: 1007


« Reply #367 on: Dec 06, 2011, 08:03:41 PM »

Don't look at me, I was just following form.  Smile
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cold before sunrise
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Posts: 2500


« Reply #368 on: Dec 07, 2011, 12:32:52 AM »

i try and keep my inbox full so nobody can bug me with their private thoughts. then i get annoyed with having to read them over and over, delete them and get more. it's a nasty cycle of over sharing.
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YojimboMonkey
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Posts: 12034


« Reply #369 on: Dec 07, 2011, 09:58:17 AM »

really cbs? I have saved every golden nugget of wisdom you've ever PMed my way
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Em
Registered user

Posts: 1007


« Reply #370 on: Dec 14, 2011, 11:17:49 AM »

Checking in to bring happy news to the depression/bipolar thread. As I said before, things got a little rocky earlier when I cut my dose of Abilify owing to frustrations over excess weight. My doctor and I talked about it and after I took a firm stance against going back to the original dose, we added in a new med (zonisamide--way off-label but with a decent track record) and it's working out really well for me. I'm in a good place mentally, and since slashing the Abilify in half, I've lost 20 pounds (it happened really fast and I'm keeping up my healthy habits and hoping for more).

Downside to zonisamide--apparently a rather common side effect, which I'm experiencing, is an inability to sweat as much as you ought to (making you get overheated), which is interfering somewhat with my rather rigorous yoga practice. I'm just taking it easy in class and hoping the side effect will lessen as time goes on, as I have been told that it will. Other than that, smooth sailing for now!
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Mike24
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Posts: 1086


« Reply #371 on: Dec 14, 2011, 11:26:00 AM »

anybody have a SAD light? i'm thinking about shelling out for this one.

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she doesn't like it too hot, she doesn't like it too cold, room temperature, room temperature
Greg Nog
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Posts: 21629


« Reply #372 on: Dec 14, 2011, 11:43:02 AM »

I've never tried one!  Let us know how it goes if you get it!
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Mike24
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Posts: 1086


« Reply #373 on: Dec 14, 2011, 12:05:43 PM »

yeah imma get it.

i should probably have gotten one years ago because i know that my mood is very sensitive to weather/light/etc.

nobody seems to actually carry it in-store so i guess i'll be waiting a bit before trying it out.
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she doesn't like it too hot, she doesn't like it too cold, room temperature, room temperature
davy
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Posts: 24822


« Reply #374 on: Dec 14, 2011, 01:50:53 PM »

I'm interested in such things this year because L has recently expressed an interest in doing something to combat her SAD symptoms. But I don't really understand what the light is supposed to do, or how you're supposed to use it. The description on the Amazon page says it can enhance your mood in as little as 15 minutes a day. Does that mean you just turn it on and sit in front of it for 15 minutes. Maybe read a book while you wait? I guess I'm pretty skeptical about that having any significant effect on one's overall mood.
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