You know what's annoying?

[heather marie]

My family loves D, she got more stuff from them for xmas than I did

My parents both love Richard more than they love me. Once we were fighting on the phone and I hung up and my dad made me call him back to apologize. I was like "BUT DAD, I DON'T WANNA" and he was all "RICHARD DOESN'T DESERVE TO BE YELLED AT HE IS AWESOME CALL HIM BACK AND APOLOGIZE"

so I was like "hey, my dad said I have to apologize. bye."

This doesn't really belong here. anyway, blucas, sorry peeps are jerks.

[dieblucasdie]

SO ANGRY

[RoyBiggins]

C'mon. Just tell us about it. I mean, isn't freddy gonna find out eventually?

[dieblucasdie]

Well, actually he probably won't 'cause it's basically over now, because the person apologized and backed off *enough* when confronted.   I don't think the opinion changed at all, in the end, it was just like, "Oh, fuck, you're actually calling me out on this!  Uh, uh sorry."

It's basically about my gf being in burlesque.  I mean, we're prepared for some friction if/when family members find out, but this was just bullshit because this person does not have the right to judge her AT ALL, let alone do it by sending a nasty one-line myspace comment instead of, you know, talking to us about it. 

Also, if any of you were seriously and earnestly trying to show me your point of view, would you quote Glenn Beck's radio show at me?  Like, fuck, do you even know me?

[diesel_powered]

WTF? What fucking business of theirs is it what she does?

[dieblucasdie]

exactly!

[diesel_powered]

YEESH!

[girl]

I figured that must be what the conflict was about, but trying to claim the moral high ground while being so cowardly as to leave a myspace comment instead of voicing concerns in person? That's completely pathetic and deserves the full might of your wrath. I understand that she was hurt by it, but really, she's not the one who looks bad from here. I'm sorry and I hope everything works out.

[dieblucasdie]

Thanks Chris, yeah, it'll be OK in the long run.  This person is really like, an adjacent family member/family friend (I'm pretty much giving it away there but whatever), so I don't really care that much; it was just annoying and upsetting too be confronted with it and then have no choice but to deal with it.

[girl]

Understandable. You're completely right.

[morgan]

You know what's annoying?  A MILLION FUCKING STUDENTS SUDDENLY SENDING ME WHINY E-MAILS ABOUT THEIR GRADES. 

SERIOUSLY.

I told them at the beginning of the semester that I wouldn't change any grades at the end unless I made a mistake.  I didn't.  I'm not going to give these students a B, or an A, or an A+ just because they WANT one.  DO NOT CARE.  Guess what, dumbasses?  YOU SHOULD'VE TRIED HARDER.

[Little Sixes Little Nines]

Haha I wish my teachers had told me that

[das kranke Tier]

How about this?  The new semester starts Monday, and I don't even know how the fuck I did last semester!

My last exam was on 12/13...still no fucking grades?!

[DCDave]

My next semester starts Tuesday after next and I haven't paid for my last semester yet because my company hasn't reimbursed me, so I haven't been able to sign up for classes, so I might not be able to graduate.

[C of heartbreak]

Man that happened to me almost ever semester as an undergrad, except my company wasn't reimbursing me.

[elpollodiablo]

I'm pretty annoyed that just when I need to be sorting out school financial stuff, my credit union's website goes down for three days. Three days! WTF!

[diesel_powered]

So I've been in close contact with my parents on and off for the past few weeks now and they're beginning to make me crazy. Try not to look so shocked. When I got to my dad's place before Christmas, I remarked that their typical breakfast of a half an English muffin was not enough to sustain homeostasis in my younger, larger body and that I usually consume protein in the morning because protein takes longer to digest and therefore I don't get hungry again after a half an hour. ( Thanks to Yojimbo for the good advice on that one.) Since then, my dad has been giving me shit about my protein consumption at every meal. Is it any wonder that I've grown up to have to overcome serious problems with asserting myself and seeing that my needs are met? I've spent my whole life getting zinged by my family every time I assert myself! Why is it that the only way some people can relate to others is by making fun of them? I realize that I'm overly sensitive about this (probably due to my relationship with my parents as well as a shit ton of abuse at the hands of my peers early on) but goddamn... ease the fuck up!

And for that matter, am I really overly sensitive? It's a hard thing to gauge since charges of being "overly sensitive" are usually delivered by people who want to cover for the fact that they've behaved poorly.

[diesel_powered]

He's talking to his plant now. I wish I could make this shit up.

[Andrew_TSKS]

diesel, i have the same issues due to my mother, but i think it's slightly different because rather than cracking jokes she is just a straight up bully that picks on me constantly. and since i'm overly sensitive about being picked on, just as you are, i too have often wondered about the way people seem to make fun of each other constantly. it's like they say mean shit about people they hate, and mean shit about people they love, but they assume that the difference in tone when they talk to people they love is enough to ensure that no one gets their feelings hurt. why is it so rare for people to actually say NICE things? it seems like some sort of congenital insecurity, like everyone's afraid to actually say what they mean to the people they care about for fear of it making them vulnerable later.

so yeah, i know it's not much help for me to merely join in on the ranting, but you're not alone with this stuff.

[diesel_powered]

I'm inclined to believe that it's some manner of congenital insecurity. And there's really no way around it besides forcing yourself not to be so sensitive, which is extremely difficult and ultimately asks you not to be the person that you are. There's really no winning strategy for dealing with it. In my inter-personal relationships, I try my hardest to avoid engaging in such activity because I hate it when others do it, but that only ends up making people think that I'm weak, the irony being it takes infinitely more strength and discipline to be genuine. And when I do engage in that behavior it's as a reflex to get others to ease up which inevitably ends up with people getting hurt in the end and me feeling guilty. Or, it's in an effort not to appear weak which inevitably ends up with people getting hurt in the end and me feeling guilty.

[diesel_powered]

And as long as I'm complaining about things my parents do, my dad is now engaging in his favorite pastime which is asserting himself into the environment through making noise. As far back as I can remember, his constant whistling and singing and talking to himself has always felt like an intrusion into my personal atmosphere and whenever I've asked him to shut the fuck up, whether it's been politely or otherwise, he's always told me to eat shit. I've gotten to the point where I can ignore it for a few hours or maybe even a day, but eventually he wears me down and I end up wanting to stab him in the fucking face. Yet another instance where I've gotten negative feedback from my parents for asserting myself. My whole life my parents have encouraged me to assert myself and make sure my needs are met, but whenever I do it with them I'm met with dismissal and resistance. I'm pretty sure this is contradiction is a big part of why I'm neurotic.

[Andrew_TSKS]

ok, in response to the first post--i personally can't really try to just banter with people on their level without overstepping bounds, as i really don't understand the point where the line is drawn between making fun of people in an amusing way and hurting their feelings. so yeah, i really just try not to ever do it, since it's never anything sincere from me, just an attempt to fit in. but i also don't let people make me feel guilty for just being honest and genuine about things. i find that what happens generally with people is that, once i'm really open with them, it makes them feel comfortable being open and honest with me. i have a lot of friends that i feel really close with, and who tell me that they can't talk to many other people as openly as they can with me, and i know for a lot of them it's just because they felt like i was creating a context in our conversations of sincerity and non-judgmental openness. so yeah, i'm ultimately glad i turned out the way i did, even if it is somewhat of a problem in certain common situations.

in response to the second post--i have totally had roommates who did that kind of thing, and it drives me nuts. is there not a room you can go into and close the door? i like to hang out in the living room of my house, but my current roommate has to have the television on whenever he's home and awake, which is its own form of intrusion (my parents do this too, and in their house there are no chairs anywhere except the living room, so you can't go anywhere else and sit, which bugs me to no end), and i've had a lot of experience with other roommates who you couldn't be around without them constantly trying to get your attention for no reason, so i've learned to keep an easy chair in my room so i have somewhere to sit and read where i won't be bugged.

[RavingLunatic]

Sorry to hear about these issues with parents. I've never really had any major problems with my parents. They've been just about all anyone could ask for.

[alexandra]

my parents are pretty terrible too. though they just snip at each other constantly. dad blames mom for everything, mom drinks to fend off the verbal attacks, dad drinks because mom is a lame drunk and my brother and i just do our own thing. thank god for my brother, i would be a huge mess without him.

[C of heartbreak]

Is it any wonder that I've grown up to have to overcome serious problems with asserting myself and seeing that my needs are met? I've spent my whole life getting zinged by my family every time I assert myself!

At the dinner table and most other places, my dad and his girlfriend would incessantly talk about my brother and I in the third person, like we weren't even there. Then when I'd ask them to stop, they'd mock me (usually in the third person).

Sorry to hear your problems are similar, diesel. Man, don't even get me started about parents!