I don't get mad, I get stabby: the new annoyance thread.

[Black Amnesia of Heaven]

What the fuck, body.  I had a cold a week ago and now you're bringing on the flu?  I haven't had the flu in over a goddamn decade, man.  I forgot how much shivering was involved but quite honestly I DIDN'T NEED TO BE REMINDED.

[diesel_powered]

Bleh. I need to go grocery shopping and then do my laundry and I have absolutely zero interest in either. I could just say fuck it and sit on my ass, but I'm going to be even less motivated to do it tomorrow.

[diesel_powered]

So my class decided to have a show in the coming months and as such, they're sucking $35 out of everyone to cover expenses.

All last year, I did the promotional designs for the department. I did a great fucking job, actually. I did postcards. I did posters. I made sure everything complied to postal service specs (you should know this shit intimately if you're a graphic designer and most small printing companies cover it on their websites for good measure). This year I've stepped back. I wanted to focus more on my own work and not have to be subject to client bullshit from people who aren't even paying me. It was hard, but I did it and the extra time has been valuable.

So, back to this show. The person who designed the postcards for our show claims to have a design background. She claims to have learned how to design in school. And yet, I get an email today saying that the postcards she designed don't conform to USPS specs and therefore are more or less worthless unless we put them in envelopes. WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK.

THIS IS THE SECOND FUCKING TIME THE RAT FUCK ASSHOLES IN MY FUCKING DEPARTMENT FUCKED UP PROMOTIONAL MATERIALS. The last show we had, the dumb motherfuckers decided they were going to make huge postcards so said postcards could function as both postcards and posters. GUESS WHAT, THEY FUCKING FAILED AT BEING EITHER. NOT ONLY THAT, BUT THEY WERE MORE EXPENSIVE TO MAIL THAN LETTERS.

IF YOU AREN'T UP FOR THE FUCKING TASK, DON'T FUCKING VOLUNTEER. YOU JUST WASTED A SHORT SHIT TON OF EVERYONE'S FUCKING MONEY YOU FUCKING DUMB SHIT FUCKING ASSHOLE AND YOU'RE WASTING EVEN MORE OF IT BECAUSE NOW THE POST-FUCKING-CARDS HAVE TO BE MAILED OUT AS LETTERS INSTEAD OF POSTCARDS!! GO BACK TO WHATEVER BULLSHIT FUCKING SCHOOL YOU WENT TO AND HIT THE FUCKING BOOKS AGAIN BECAUSE YOU SHOULD HAVE FLUNKED OUT THE FIRST TIME YOU ASSHOLE.

Or at least that's what I'd like to tell the person who fucked up. But in all reality, it wouldn't really accomplish anything. Except maybe making me feel a little better since she just pissed a whole shit ton of my money down the drain with her ridiculous ineptitude.

[Augo]

You should meet my designer friend.  You guys would love to yell about people's incompetence together.

[Augo]

I'm annoyed tonight because I'm still sick as a fucking dog.  I actually went to work for awhile today and felt pretty good afterwards.  I came home and took a shower and as soon as I turned the water off a wave of death coursed through my veins.  I'm so fucking sick of this bullshit.  My pals are all downtown drinking half price pitchers and I'm laying in bed, miserable as fuck for the fourth strait day/night.  Maybe I didn't knock on enough wood last fall when I was bragging about never getting sick, cuz I swear, this winter I've been ill every other week.  Medicine hasn't had a noticeable effect, and I'm avoiding going to the doctor at all costs...but I'm seriously considering it at this point.

[diesel_powered]

Have you considered a multivitamin?

[Augo]

Oh and I better be feeling decent enough to drink tomorrow night as three of my high school buddies and I are having our 6th annual "Sunday Night Crew" NBA All-star game party.  I cannot be sick for that shit.

[YojimboMonkey]

have you considered hard alcohol?

[Augo]

Have you considered a multivitamin?

No.  I suppose I should.

I don't pay much attention to methods of quelling sickness, cuz I'm so rarely sick.  I pretty much just follow the "Grandma Aleta Treatment" which is a cold washcloth on the forehead, lots of orange juice and saltine crackers, and Price is Right flickering away on the boob tube.

[Augo]

have you considered hard alcohol?

Yes.  Yes I have.

I have a half bottle of Crown Royal...perhaps I'll have a shot before I pass out tonight.

[diesel_powered]

As bizarre as it feels to be discouraging someone from drinking, booze is going to make it worse. John will back me up on this one. I definitely attribute my licking that shit in three days to quitting everything the second I started to feel sick. Instead of a shot, consider a couple hefty glasses of water. Preferably spiked with Emergen-C.

[slow west vultures]

the times i've been really sick as a dog the past couple of years have followed or fallen on national holidays where i drank a lot the day before.  i think my liver got sick of trying to process all of the alcohol on top of everything it else it had to metabolize, and was like 'screw it, this is all going into your bile duct, you can spend the whole next day trying to puke it up'.  so i'm definitely leery of having any alcohol when i might get sick.  do your liver a favor, don't make it work harder than it has to. 

[Killdozersnakeboy]

Headline in todays paper.

The woman who shattered the Stewart fairy tale

The Stewarts are some well known rich family in Christchurch. What had the woman done to shatter their fairytale existance? Be raped/sexually assulted by the patriach of said family between between the ages 8-14 and he was his 20's.
I FUCKING HATE JOURNALISTS!

[jebreject]

How dare that woman!

[diesel_powered]

I bet she totally dressed like she wanted it.

[jebreject]

I feel there are some heads I should barf on.

[diesel_powered]

I am so on board with that.

[diesel_powered]

Oh... and HEY, BOREDOMS, HOW ABOUT REARRANGING YOUR TOUR SCHEDULE TO FIT IN WITH MY SPRING BREAK? EH? EH?

[Augo]

Thanks for the advice guys.  I had to call in sick this morning.  I'm damn lucky I get my profit sharing check from 2007 on Wednesday, otherwise there's no way I'd make rent this month.  If I can muster up the energy I'll roll on down to Walgreens this afternoon for some of that emergen-c.

I just checked the local scenester message board and there's a whole thread dedicated to being sick.  Apparently two out of every three Lincoln scene kids are suffering the exact symptoms I am, and the ones who are over it had it for five or six days.  Crazy shit.

[slow west vultures]

you scenesters should really stop going to those make-out parties. 

[elpollodiablo]

I know I've said this a million times here, but I am seriously using every last bit of patience and restraint I have at work these days. It's getting to the point where I'm honestly afraid that the next person that comes up to me to lodge some meaningless picayune complaint is going to get told "Just fucking deal with it, for crissakes, you're a goddamned fucking adult. GET OVER IT."

[diesel_powered]

You know, I've come to the conclusion that no matter what age, most people are still looking for a mommy in their lives. Most of the time, this takes the form of people in customer service positions. This is pretty much why I can't deal with customer service jobs anymore. It's never about the customer service, it's always about needing a fucking mommy.

[Killdozersnakeboy]

Or worse they're arseholes who get off on treating people like and knowing said person has to be polite cos it's their job. Working customer service in a call centre lowered my opinion of the human race to dangerous lows.

[C of heartbreak]

I think it's more that there's a sense of entitlement--I'M patronizing YOUR institution, so YOU owe ME something. The main reason I'll never work in customer service is the phrase "the customer is always right."

[Good Intentions]

We just tell the customers that so they can fuck off.

My favourite line is 'this isn't your place, you can't order me around'. It's always a dilemma between showing them that, in fact, I have the power to have them dragged off, or to drag them off myself.