Well man I'll tell you it was like this. First I guess I saw an ad someplace for the Septic Flesh album. I don't know if they spell it like that because on the album cover it is all one word which is not as cool by even half. Getting ahead of myself here OK so wait. I see the ad, it is for the Septic Flesh album Communion, it's a shared ad with like three other releases in it. That is how labels do shit so they can split the cost of billing the ad between multiple releases. When we all share the burden our load is light. You get the idea. Stick to the point man. OK cool. I see the ad, it has an album cover that looks pretty cool to me because it has some kind of wicked ram-human hybrid just staring out all ram-eyed. I am an easy man to please, OK? Give me a ram-headed human dude looking all wicked-ass and you are halfway home. I make no secret of my preferences here. OK? OK.

So I see the ad, and just briefly say to myself: "Fucking wicked!" I do not say "wicked awesome" because that is a New England thing, if you say "wicked awesome" but you are not from New England then you are POSING and you are requested to STOP POSING. PLEASE. And I think, "I hope somebody sends me that record because I probably will not remember it about five minutes from now." Why do I think that? Because it is true. I have reached the point where for an advertisement to leave any lasting impression with me it has to do one of two things. The first is, it can make me laugh hard. This almost never works because the shit that ad people think is funny is generally not very funny. The second is the advertisement can feature an endorsement from William Gass. I will let you know if this one ever happens.

So I see the ad, I move on with my life, maybe I see the ad once or twice more because I know the image kinda stuck with me. Then BOOM, MOTHERFUCKERS, I get a promo in the mail from Season of Mist and what is it? Fucking Septic Flesh. Exact same record I was hoping to hear. And I put it with all the other promos by stereo and wait for the right time to listen to it only then I get too damn busy to listen to new stuff so it just sits there looking evil.

That's all right about that but then I get it in my head that I heard it was lame. Bummer. I have no idea how I even got this idea, because one of my homies at Decibel gave the shit an 8, but somehow I get it in my head that it ain't all that. Maybe I was just trying to counterstrike against my natural "the cover rules so the record is morally obligated to also rule" misconception. Twice bitten, you know? But the worm's in the wood now. Every time I see it I'm thinkin' "It's not as good as you think it is." Only, today, I see that promo looking up at me like the unfeeling embodiment of sad Satan and I think to myself "well dude you gotta listen to it at least once." That's the contract with promos, right? They send you a free one, you listen to it, and if you have anything to say about it, you do that. OH MY GOD THE SYSTEM CAN ONLY WORK IF YOU LET IT.

Well I fire that bad boy up and what do I find out, these guys are using an 80-piece orchestra and a choir that rolls 32 deep. The band is from Greece, the orchestra & choir are from Prague, and the whole lot of them are free to hit my liquor cabinet any time they want, because they have got flow. They have got flow! Symphonic Therion flow sorta. But different, because they are Greek, and Greek metal has a thing goin'. I don't know exactly how to quanitfy the thing that Greek metal has goin' but Rotting Christ has it and so does Varathron. It has to do with the distortion being kind of even and measured, and it has to do also with the scales that the guitarists seem to favor. I would like to tell you that it's because they're always in Doric mode or some shit like that but honestly I don't know. They do seem to really know their way around a proper minor key. Mournful and grand, you know. Hott!

So that was how I was reminded that just because you think maybe you heard somebody say that something sucked doesn't mean you actually think that yourself. Unless you are an ant, in which case that is totally true for you, and everybody has to be OK with that because what are you supposed to be, not be an ant? Shit does not work like that. That is just how it is, ant-man. Don't even worry about it. Do what you gotta do to keep the mound happy. Nothing but love.